Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML
Today, I told my man that I would love to have sex, provided that he helped me “warm up” enough to actually be able to enjoy it. His reply? "Well, never mind, if you’re not in the mood." FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
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Top comments
Nilorak 24
Ouch.
lovecrazy12 14
An affair is not the solution. Have you ever thought of trying to fix the problem whatever it may be? People like you make me sick.
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Comments (119)
ChrisWaines 9
Maybe you should get better at it so she doesn't see it as a chore. You making sure ahe gets off too, or just yourself? Like others have said, try going to a sex shop, see if she wants to try something new.
darkenedone 27
She walked all over your feelings.
Vinnie500 14
Divorce her, tell her to get out and go find someone else. Why stay in that relationship?
NagainaFier 16
Because a real man would take the time to try and salvage the relationship rather than bailing at the first available opportunity? You might have gotten bucked off pretty hard, OP, but dust yourself off and get right back in that saddle!
Vinnie500 14
Yea, a "real man" would get rid of the hooker and find someone who appreciates him for who he is.
NagainaFier 16
If she were a hooker, I doubt she'd be rejecting OP. since, you, they get paid and whatnot. Are you trying to be funny? Because you're failing, buddy. Go home and try again tomorrow.
finch01 18
hit the treadmill and say I'm ready are you
saidoh_fml 26
It could have been worse. She could have said it was like getting Sneakers O'Toole to take his sneakers off.
shine004 8
It just made my day. I feel the same for my hubby. Lol
Kyle_Kawi27 7
Just tell her she needs to hit the treadmill more often THEN sex can come.
vbmg152 19
Lol!!! What are you doing wrong, O.P.?
kdbb 4
get rid of that fat lazy slouth. go **** as many broads as you can. you won't.
lmasters35 5
45: How does that relate to anything? Or is your autocorrect just awesome?