Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML
Today, I told my man that I would love to have sex, provided that he helped me “warm up” enough to actually be able to enjoy it. His reply? "Well, never mind, if you’re not in the mood." FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
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Top comments
Nilorak 24
Ouch.
lovecrazy12 14
An affair is not the solution. Have you ever thought of trying to fix the problem whatever it may be? People like you make me sick.
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Comments (119)
somecoolperson1 2
Tell her to suck it up and just do the job
stanjohnson 11
Tell her that you are glad your girlfriend doesn't feel that way.
camoney 4
Dude take it as a compliment. Have sex with you is like running a marathon. Maybe she just does not have the stamina to keep up.
buddy51 23
OP- Your wife's saying that sex with you is like an endless sweaty uphill climb on a rotating rubber belt that gets her nowhere and leaves her worn out when it's over.... I think this is both a YDI and a FML!! Prepare for cold showers and loneliness but the FML community is here to support (and laugh at) you so don't worry!!...
jazalea8 16
Maybe you should spice things up...She is bored and wants something new...It might be a hint to be more kinky..(Go buy her new lingerie, and see what she might do).
Zebediabolical 45
Dress OP up in a onesie?
wiseguy13 3
Tell her that being overweight can cause people to have low energy, and that you completely understand why she doesn't want to have sex. :) you will definitely not get sex but the treadmill might get some action .
Dilwann 27
Why would you assume she's overweight? I'm certainly not overweight, but have to convince myself to go out running anyway, just because I'm lazy. Like someone else said: she sounds bored. Make it interesting.
wiseguy13 3
my comment was designed to point out how mean and passive aggressive OP's wife is being. Every woman on this planet is aware of their weight in one way or another so it would be mean to make a comment like that. In the same way every guy is aware of how good they are in the sac, so what OP's wife said is very insensitive. Anyone can easily say a negative comment . Sex is a two way street , if she is bored or unsatisfied then she can bring something new to the table (or bed in this case). If she goes into sex with that attitude nobody is going to have fun.
7yzzFML 17
She obviously is overweight if she needs the treadmill but shes not using it. Use your brain.
markuskind 7
Castiel
steve31789 8
Perhaps she wants to make love on the treadmill killing 2 birds with one stone?
Reality_bites 14
I'm wondering whether she feels that way because she feels the sex is all about the OP. I'm not saying it should be all about the needs of the wife, rather that the sex should be about meeting both their needs.
StEpHiE1226 12
Wow. Harsh op.