Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML
Today, I told my man that I would love to have sex, provided that he helped me “warm up” enough to actually be able to enjoy it. His reply? "Well, never mind, if you’re not in the mood." FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
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Top comments
Nilorak 24
Ouch.
lovecrazy12 14
An affair is not the solution. Have you ever thought of trying to fix the problem whatever it may be? People like you make me sick.
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Comments (119)
chosha_fml 27
If I'd said that it would have meant, 'I don't always feel in the mood from the get go, but once I'm on there I go for it.'
ash268 18
Familiar
karen1991 15
Good for your buns and thys lol
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
BUUURRRRNNNN!!!!!!
mikepzz 27
This just means you work her out while having sex. She's just a lazy ******.
prljm10 10
You suck at sex. You want to be better? Then 'suck' during sex. ;)
azrael_666 1
Maybe your depressing and need to bring a positive attitude to the rekationship so your wife is attracted to you and wants "The Sex"?
DorkAlert 10
Apparently she does all the work I guess. Sex is strenuous so don't put it all on your partner. Equal exercise opportunity. Or you wife just is not very athletic.
mkcherry 14
I cannot imagine living life where sex is a chore I feel bad for your wife and bad for you that you got your feelings hurt. If you're making her do all the work and she's saying this because sex is really tiring I suggest you both get some more exercise and for you to stop being lazy in bed. She's still married to you so the sex must not be that important to her anyways - at least she loves you.
TheChelseaSays 34
Well if she likes to run.....