Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML
Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML
Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she started crying and yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explained but she doesn't believe me. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML
Today, I came home and asked my wife if she wanted to get eaten out. She just glared at me. Last week, she said all I had to do to make her want sex was asking if she wanted to get eaten out. It's been months since we had sex. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Blazingcrono 6
The woman knows.
Doortje 30
Perfect marriage: give a little, take a little.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
fidrat04 0
isnt it the way?? **** stop whining lol some guys do everyrhing while their wife wont even cook...at least your getting head bud.
BennettGrantKevi 0
it's true!
goodgood_fml 5
I don't understand what the problem is. Kudos to your wife for picking a spouse who is EASY. Less stress for her because there's no resistance and less stress for you because you're getting serviced. Hope I can pick a spouse who is that easy.
sweet_princess 0
and why is this FML ?? you should be happy
mintcar 10
What's the problem here? You get your dick ducked, she gets her kitchen cleaned.
mintcar 10
sucked*** Ugh.
Mubus 0
lol you also use iPhone? or some other smart phone I an guessing.
RedPillSucks 33
I'm sorry. Getting his dick ducked is much funnier. Although I don't think his wife would approve.
robc32ca 4
work it in your favor ... say no more often!
oneworldguy 0
You ho! ;-)
MK306 0
your life dosen't suck
Fmyspam 0
No. But his wife does.
devilskiss 0
Haha I always got what I wanted from my boyfriend from doing that ;) Haha never anything too important though :)
ImaginaryFoe 1
As long as you two are choosing your battles wisely and neither of you has a problem with the occasional compromise, you should be fine. I would think that if it was something serious, you wouldn't just give in and your wife would respect you enough to not try her tricks.