Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Hello from the other side
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Excuses, excuses
Today, my wife has been using "pregnancy hormones" as an excuse for absolutely everything. Spills a milkshake in bed at one in the morning? Pregnancy hormones! Cries about a hole in her sock? Pregnancy hormones! Gets caught fucking her coworker? Pregnancy hormones! FML
Playing favorites
Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML
Food for thought
Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML
Go long
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML
On a promise
Today, my girlfriend invited me to her apartment for "Taco Tuesday date night", saying that she had "homemade tacos." She actually made homemade tacos for us to eat for dinner. Oh, and she was on her period. Fantasy ruined. FML
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
Neverending cycle
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Top comments
olpally 33
Awww, what a good husband you are. Don't worry, she'll forgive you later, hormones are like that.
uhnevermind 24
Maybe she doesn't want the *****?
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Comments (145)
uhnevermind 24
Maybe she doesn't want the *****?
BeccaHugs 17
OP if you want to buy me Taco Bell I won't complain.
rich443 22
raging hormones and taco ***** not combination I would ever want to see
zandalee 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's a shit... *gets shot*.
jw90 18
I would endure the ***** if my spouse did that for me.
Ambient25 25
OP just confined her to 3 hours on the toilet, it's an important decision...
Since1998 20
#36 Just like the actual puns, your comment is getting old too.
Gearden 8
Well someone isn't getting a taco tonight.
Irchell 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How dare you! Feeding your unborn baby that garbage fix her a salad and a bowl of fruit
Norvi 26
you have obviously never been in prolonged contact with hormonal women and their cravings
firefighter925 18
Yea they're like raging animals,
caohm 18
there's no agreeing with a pregnant woman its only trying, putting up a pitiful struggle to win and then failing miserably
caohm 18
*arguing*
hcollins1 18
Because every pregnant woman ever has craved peanut butter covered pickles or hot wings and pizza at 3 am but decided to eat a salad and a fruit bowl because it's healthier.
Rainhawk94 27
Just give her what she wants and you'll both be happy trust me
Fsvb 32
Am I the only one surprised that #2 got thumbed down so much? Sure you can snack a little but it is still very important to eat healthy, because your diet does effect your baby, obviously.
Cbn42 3
#124, Cravings are caused mostly by nutrients that the baby needs, and maybe there was something in Taco Bell that wasn't in a salad. (I doubt it though)
Fsvb 32
I know, but there are still other solutions. Of course I get thumbed down as well, just trying to say 'be healthy for your baby'. Whats wrong with that idea?
hcollins1 18
132, you've never had a craving have you? Oh and add a ton of crazy raging hormones a pregnant woman may have. Also, normally (or so from what I have read, more than once, so it may or may not be true) when a pregnant person is craving a certain food (or in some cases something weird like dirt, clay, soap etc) it's because that individual is lacking the nutrients that are in those types of food, or strange random items. Docbastard, have I read correctly?
Fsvb 32
Actually, I have. I haven't been pregnant yet, so I will admit I can't truly know what it feels like, but I happen to have a food addiction (no, not 'just' saying that, I am actually in therapy for this), so believe me, I know what cravings are. But that's what I said, sure you can snack a little, but please just remember that you are also feeding the little one so don't overdo it. And I know that it's related to what the body needs, but if you crave something like mexican food, you could make it yourself instead of going to a fastfood place.
cryssycakesx3 23
sure pregnant ladies have cravings, but she wasn't having any, especially for taco bell.
olpally 33
Awww, what a good husband you are. Don't worry, she'll forgive you later, hormones are like that.
alshygirl 14
This is the nicest comment I've ever seen you post
nightowl713 25
Pregnancy makes you crazy! I wanted jack in the box tacos, and they didn't have any. You would have thought they tried to kill me. I was completely inconsolable. And that wasn't even the craziest thing I did. The support system, what ever it may be, just needs to keep in mind that not matter how inconvenient it is for them, they aren't the ones feeling all of the absurd emotions. And most of the time the pregnant don't mean what they say or do and often deal with the extreme remorse that follows an extreme melt down. Hang in there OP, it gets better!
Kateyez_26 13
Dnt take it personal, it's just the hormones speaking! Maybe rubbing her feet will help calm her down....and hopefully put her to sleep lol
Wittledinosaure 7
Wow, whatasluttypicture.
KushCrushin89 10
And if that doesn't work, try Valium. Lots and lots of Valium.
ShadowFlame275 18
If none of those work, make sure to throw chocolate from a safe distance.
ThatFancyPenn 18
(Tries to delete comment but can't)
rich443 22
welcome to the wonderful world of pregnancy at least its rewarding in the end
slick5880 22
Hospital bills are rewarding
rich443 22
try a child that you get ro raise and care for parenting is the most rewarding thing in world
geekchick88 17
Not everyone wants to be a parent, and the idea of what is rewarding is different for everyone. For me, it's succeeding in school.
AllieCat21 21
@29 if you don't think having a child is rewarding, don't have children. Problem solved. 17 was merely stating their opinion.
hcollins1 18
29, considering this FML is about a husband getting the wrong food at the moment for a PREGNANT woman, the reward obviously to THEM is having a baby as it was their choice to have a child. Though, it does make me happy to see that there some people out there that still care about their education. Good for you! :) And 12, I'm sure the birth of a child is more rewarding, important and not to mention well worth that temporary hospital bill. Hospital bills can be paid off and are, as I said temporary. But the love of a child is never-ending and the best thing any parent can have.
ThePez828 18
As a woman who gave birth a week ago, let me warn you the worst has yet to come! Being patient will hope you both - even though it is hard!
MistressCaitlyn 7
As a 7-months prego woman, I'd have to agree! I try really hard to remember that my hubby is only trying to help (and I try to warn him when I can feel my emotions running high), but some days are really difficult. And when I'm craving something, and thinking about it all day, nothing else will do. Keep your head up, OP. You'll get through this. In the meantime, maybe give her a quick phone call before buying her anything else to eat. :)
christge1beast 17
Congrats on the baby!
siggy_mcsigx 22
Are you the one who had the baby potato? :)
Goblin182 27
Actually I think he made need to keep his head down.
x3jmac27 22
When womens hormones kick in, its like hurricane Katrina all over again.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Hurricane Katrina is not something to joke about =(
Treveyon56 14
Yes it is.
crymore007 11
And this, fellow commenters, is the FML paradox- two contradicting comments being thumbed down
ms_YoungMula 8
It was more of a comparison than a joke
crymore007 11
Second comment is now thumbed up- idk if mine influenced people but regardless, my first comment is now irrelevant. And for that matter, arguably so is this one.
graceinsheepwear 34
Run for the border.
firepanda11 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You intentionally decided to give her diarrhea? What an ass you are OP :P