Today, my wife has been using "pregnancy hormones" as an excuse for absolutely everything. Spills a milkshake in bed at one in the morning? Pregnancy hormones! Cries about a hole in her sock? Pregnancy hormones! Gets caught fucking her coworker? Pregnancy hormones! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML
Today, I started crying at work for absolutely no reason. My pregnant coworker walked up to me and said, "Pregnancy hormones, huh?" I never even told her I was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones made her extremely horny. The doctor said that intercourse during pregnancy was very healthy, so we decided to do it. Let's just say that the bumpy ride didn't help her morning sickness. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML
Today, for the third time in 3 months, my pregnant wife woke me up by slapping me because I cheated on her in her dreams. I would never cheat on my wife, and she blames it on "pregnancy brain." There's still 5 months to go. FML
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML
Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML
Today, my wife invited 45+ people to her baby shower, but literally 4 people came. Now I get to deal with my pregnant wife and her fluctuating hormones. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
yeah, umm. May get DNA test along with the STI one. Somehow I doubt this is the 1st time.
andrewgr 4
Oh man, I can't tell you how badly I feel for you. If you want some resources or support, I suggest survivinginfidelityDOTcom. There's a 'healing library' of recommended books and websites. You can post in their "Just Found Out" forum and talk to people who have been through similar experiences. Good luck!
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Comments (4)
andrewgr 4
Oh man, I can't tell you how badly I feel for you. If you want some resources or support, I suggest survivinginfidelityDOTcom. There's a 'healing library' of recommended books and websites. You can post in their "Just Found Out" forum and talk to people who have been through similar experiences. Good luck!
Thaylok 17
yeah, umm. May get DNA test along with the STI one. Somehow I doubt this is the 1st time.
JackWood 21
More like ***** moans. js
RichardPencil 32
Sounds legit.