Today, my wife is still not pregnant, but her sister is after the threesome we all had a few months ago. The threesome was my wife's idea, but I suspect I am still a dead man when it comes to whose fault it is. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML
Today, my wife's sister called with a confession. My wife never wanted children, but I did, but I thought she'd miscarried the first two, so we stopped trying. Her sister confessed that she'd actually aborted them and lied to me. We picked out names for them and she aborted them. FML
Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML
Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. One day, I accidentally walked in on my sister-in-law changing. For some reason I’ll never understand, we ended up having a quickie doggystyle and swore to not talk about it ever again. She’s now 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a dead man if my wife finds out. FML
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML
Today, my wife and I have been trying for kids for years and nothing, yet my deadbeat brother just ran out on his third pregnant girlfriend in a row, with no intention of meeting the baby ever. FML
Today, my wife wanted to have a threesome. During our honeymoon. With the maid of honor. I didn't sign up for this. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
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Top comments
KingAdrock 16
Your wife asked for a threesome; with her own SISTER... AND you didn't use protection? YDI, Cletus.
sunnyray812 42
Why would you even agree for a threesome with your wife's sister? Why would she suggest it? I guess some incest gets her turned on. 😷
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Comments (49)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Boys, and select girls, pick your jaws up off the floor, and help this man out. There are more important things to deal with besides the fact that his wife suggested a threesome with her sister. Apparently.
KingAdrock 16
No, I'm going to say he deserves some flak for not thinking this one through. His wife suggested an incestuous threesome with her own SISTER and that didn't ring any alarm bells? AND they didn't use protection? As another poster said, that's fifty shades of ****** up.
sunnyray812 42
Why would you even agree for a threesome with your wife's sister? Why would she suggest it? I guess some incest gets her turned on. 😷
Dave_Davington 34
No man with a working penis would ever turn down such a thing. It's basically a dream come true.
lexos 16
I would always turn down a threesome, I really don't understand why people even want one
sunnyray812 42
There are some things I'll never understand about guys...or girls for that matter.
Cairnam 1
Only if you are dating the ugly one!
Mungolikecandy 19
A sensible man who thought with his big head and not his little one would turn it down straight away.
OnReceivingEnd 18
Until it becomes a NIGHTMARE.
Dirtysalamander1 13
she ain't doing her sister. do you even know what incest is?
wanted_2_want 40
And then you woke up!
skippydoda 32
If this is real, this is fifty shades of ****** up
KingAdrock 16
Your wife asked for a threesome; with her own SISTER... AND you didn't use protection? YDI, Cletus.
Razell 13
It's not that bad, just adopt the kid when your wife's sister gives birth. (I'm assuming the sister doesn't have a husband of her own. Or whatever.)
MamaChey 24
Simply adopt the baby? Sweets, why the hell would OP adopt a kid who is his biological child? as for the wife? Yes, I’m certain that she’ll want to adopt her sister’s child. It’ll be like a vacation souvenir to remind her of that ‘magical night’
Razell 13
Simple: the kid's mother is not the father's legal wife, so he has no legal parental rights to the kid. In order to get legal parental rights, he would have to adopt the kid. Adopting the kid would also free him from having to pay child support to his sister-in-law. Since he mentions that his wife is "still not pregnant", that implies that getting pregnant is a goal for the couple, implying that they want kids. Adopting the kid would give the couple a kid, remove the burden of single-motherhood from the sister(again, assuming that the sister is single), and give the kid a set of stable (... relatively speaking) married parents. As far as the wife is concerned, the adopting the kid won't be any more or less a reminder of the trio's <i>complete idiocy</i> than seeing the kid every holiday at family reunions. Quite frankly, if the wife didn't want the risk of her husband impregnating her sister, she shouldn't have invited her sister into their bed in the first place. Alternately, OP needs to get a paternity test on the kid. If dear sister would f*ck her own brother-in-law, who know who else she's been f*cking?
bogolopian 12
Threesome with the wife's sister is not as rare as many might think. Not done it myself but have friends who have. The pregnancy is a problem that is solvable. Depending on their own beliefs and desires, abortion, adoption or just mum bringing up the child herself. Good luck.
allie2590 31
Then you are friends with weird people!
MikuandKaito 24
If she's crazy enough to initiate a threesome with her own sister, she's crazy enough to place all the blame on you. You /could/ have negated some of that crazy by using protection, but alas the three of you are, in all sense of the word, ****** up.
ohsnapword 21
Sounds like a Maury episode in the making.
whiskey'swino 15
Jerry! Jerry!