Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite my warnings and knowing I hate them, my wife got a trashy tattoo of an eye on her ankle, like she’s Count Olaf. How is she going to get a job with that thing? FML
Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML
Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML
Today, I have a tattoo of my daughter, who died when she was 11, and I had to have surgery on that body area. I told the surgeon very clearly to cut around the tattoo and he assured me he would. Woke up and the bastard had cut through my daughter's face, and half her face is now under scars and stitches. FML
Today on my birthday, my wife thought it would be a good idea to get matching tattoos. Our tattoo artist happened to be her ex-boyfriend. I sat and listened to them talk about their relationship and how they should stay in touch. FML
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Hey don't worry, she's your daughter and you should love her anyway and it'll just make for an interesting story.
KingGeorgeGal 12
That's not a big deal. You should just be happy that the baby is healthy!
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Comments (207)
NeinKittenz 20
At least she'll be the toughest girl in her neighborhood.
rg350dx 29
"Damn son! That baby's hard as ****!" As you stroll your baby on by. Ain't no one mess with prison baby. Ain't no one...
flockz 20
they took my rattle. i rattled their bones.
HouseElf 13
She didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose her.
silencebabyy 23
i think OP is more worried about what will happen when she grows up. Kids/teens can be cruel and adults can be judgemental
Cian_1 28
Well, seeing as it looks like a tear drop tattoo, I don't think anyone would be messing with her! I'd be as nice as I can be to her, just in case it is real. :P
rawr_ily96 24
I feel bad for that poor baby. When she starts school she'll probably have to wear make-up over it just to keep from getting teased. I used to have a birthmark shaped like a... well... male organ on my arm. It eventually faded as I got a tan, but until then I covered it with makeup. That made the tan take longer though.
AngelSpit 18
My cousin had a baby with a huge strawberry birthmark on her forehead they eventually had it removed. You never know how it will look as she grows it'll change shape and stretch or distort with her skin growth. I have one right below my right eye close to the bridge of my nose and it was close to the cheek bone when I was a kid
interesting33 37
Why is this downvoted? I think it is a perfectly reasonable comment to make. Teasing is wrong and may well not happen. I think the birthmark could be very pretty and special but it is true that pupils look for anything to tease people about. Hopefully though it will be fine.
loloalltheway 23
She will fit in at prisons :D naah jast kidding, poor girl she might get huge apparence issues because of that :/
AshleyScruggs 14
Seems like you have major spelling issues.
loloalltheway 23
Perhaps but not everyone has English as their 1st language, ask me in Swedish and I won't be as bad so please can everyone just stop judging people who do some spelling mistakes!!
AshleyScruggs 14
I apologize.
Bensrizz 3
It means that your daughters going to be a bad ass
s_reel16 16
You should be able to love your child no matter what flaw she may have!
taybay23 13
Congratz on the baby. I think it's kinda cute that she has it. No one will mess with her on the playground
thew_fml 14
the wording on this makes me wonder about your desire to be a parent. you make it sound like a) your wife did it all without you. she did not give birth to some girl, she and you together made a child. and b) you seem to be blaming your wife for an "imperfection", as if a birthmark made your daughter less perfect, or less lovable, or somehow less worthy as a human being. you may not have meant it like this, but that's how it comes across to me
iShanny 13
I'm really not sure how you got any of that from the FML...
BlackPhenom 9
I wonder how, especially for the "blaming" part.
Olympiakos10 15
You over analyze everything just like my English teacher...
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Gangster straight out the womb LoL
RedPillSucks 33
That'll be the title of her debut rap album
annie_nk 23
She did nine months time and has the mark to prove it lol
Ibeatmyself 3
Wow if that was my birth mark I would use it to my advantage