Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, I was doing the laundry and changing the bed sheets. I found most of my underwear under my step daughters bed, when I asked her, she said that she liked the way they smelled. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
Today, my wife spent a ton of money she took from me for a very expensive lingerie because, "it makes her feel more feminine and beautiful." Again. All this stuff just gathers dust in her drawers, and she keeps wearing the same ugly raggedy underwear for 3-4 days in a row, which is actually disgusting. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Today, I ran out of clean underwear and uncovered the pile of lingerie in the back of the drawer, none of which had been worn in over a year. Thanks, laundry day, for reminding me of how single I am. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tishtashbat 16
I cannot believe some people make their bodily functions so gross for other people to deal with. why on earth anyone would leave that in their underwear for someone else to deal with is beyond me. it takes seconds to wrap it in tissue and put it in the bin!
Puffpie 24
Ew that's just nasty
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
Johnnycake23 42
Man have I been there! Be strong brother it is all worth it!
your_ma 27
What? How?
1dvs_bstd 41
I would also really like to know how?
cheshireau 26
I'm a chick and I would also like to know how.
fuckedPriceless 17
He's a dog; he just doesn't understand humer interactions yet.
sweetnsourrr 11
Worth it?! Oh hell naw. OP is too nice, that shit is nasty. If that was me, I would have left them there and told her to do her own laundry.
Johnnycake23 42
True love should know no boundaries.
ajs1987 15
True love doesn't mean you have a free pass to do things like that. That's just disrespectful. My ex used to leave her used, snotty tissues on the counter, rather than putting them in the trash can that was less than 5 feet away. Every time I had to clean that shit up, I was dry heaving, and then I'd wash and scrub my hands raw. It is NOT worth it to clean up after grown adults who are capable of doing it for themselves.
foxwasalamb 24
ajs, wanna be roommates?
cwhitt975 11
Are you trying to communicate?
sirloinrules 0
Hell yeah, me too. I don't even take out the bathroom garbage when my lady AND her mom fill it up with that stuff.
The_madmax 23
How is this comment even negative??
Puffpie 24
Ew that's just nasty
tiggerdoc 14
Is it wrong I read that in Cleveland's voice? LOL!!
jerryj 27
Yes, the Cleveland voice shit is old and not even clever.
Amandallynn 9
lol. IDC how old and played out...as soon as I started reading it, I heard Cleveland's voice in my head. lol
your_ma 27
I think that's worth mentioning to her..? So gross!
mikepzz 27
I simply wouldn't do her laundry if I found that
KittyLahv 27
But that's what true love is, isn't it?
KittyLahv 27
It's not an excuse. When you're married, you go through some gross shit, but you do it out of love. I'm not saying it's his responsibility to take care of her dirty liners unless she isn't capable of doing it herself. I'm just saying that he must really love her, and I give him props for being a caring partner.
LostMy_Marbles 24
I'm sorry but WHY?!?! Can't the nasty woman dispose of them herself? Yuck!!
littlekellilee 45
Exactly! I can't imagine how she can stand leaving them in her underwear until laundry day. I would hate having them there a second longer than they needed to be.
foxwasalamb 24
yeah i wouldnt do that to my boyfriend. i even wrap it in toilet paper before throwing it away cuz aint nobody wanna look at that
tishtashbat 16
I cannot believe some people make their bodily functions so gross for other people to deal with. why on earth anyone would leave that in their underwear for someone else to deal with is beyond me. it takes seconds to wrap it in tissue and put it in the bin!
rockwrench 18
Sounds like the wife is lazy. She's complaining about grounds in the sink and he's doing laundry. Sounds like marrage to me.
kirasant 19
Doesn't sound like any marriage I know. I think your standards are off, #22. OP's wife is utterly disgusting. I've never even heard of someone doing that. Ugh.
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree that what she did is disgusting! However, it sounds like she left it for herself to clean up after. I assume she didn't know her husband was going to do the laundry and merely forgot about it later. (Surely she's not gross enough to just leave it all for her husband to take care of). I also find it interesting that op does all this but hasn't told the wife about it or that he thinks it's gross. Op; either ask her to throw the liners out before you do the laundry, or just leave the undies and do the rest of the wash if it bothers you. Why stay silent if it bothers you so much?
rockwrench 18
Trust me #48. It's discussing to say the least. I would put them back in her underware drawer the way I found them. What I meant was she seems to think that kind of shit is OK because she complacent in the marrage.
DarksideDoll 31
Agreed #6. It's called personal hygiene for a reason!
kaablam 17
#94, it would not be okay to put them in her underwear drawer with the clean stuff either.
KittyLahv 27
#94, I doubt they were even in her underwear drawer to begin with because 1) why would he go looking for dirty clothes in the drawers, and 2) maybe they were on the bathroom floor and she was going to take care of it herself later? Except I don't know why anyone wouldn't throw away their dirty panty liner immediately after taking off their underwear...
bearstyle22 11
trooper
joelp232 17
u gotta hate double standards
cutiepie292929 18
Girls are gross, just like the girls toilets. Always pads, blood whatever everywhere.
coming back in the future 30
You've never been to a men's toilet have you?
doodlecloud 27
Maybe in public toilets. But I assumed that whatever animals make that kind of mess there, they at least clean up their act when they're in their own home!
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Have you ever been in a woman's toilet? Much worse.
igive 29
I use the men's room at work cus it's cleaner than the ladies.
SadisticKittyCat 9
#20 trust me, whatever it is, having to sit down and notice a blood clot on the wall next to you iS MUCH WORSE! Lol
brittaaany_93 38
Unfortunately, girls can be just as dirty as guys when it comes to toilets. Our women's toilets at work can be worse than the men's. For example, some ******* filthy grub managed to get shit on the floor one day. I don't even understand how they could miss the toilet when you're supposed to be sitting on it.
cutiepie292929 18
Yeh men dont rub their used pad all over the cubicle walls.
brittaaany_93 38
You have a good point, #82. Although, if they didn't want their butts to touch the seat, they could put toilet paper on the seat rather than getting shit on the floor and leaving it there for some other poor bastard to see.
abNormal62 23
Different filters bring different responses
albertozeta_fml 9
Next time leave her underwear beside her bed.