Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML
He's got the look
Today, my uncle visited for the first time in three years. It would have been very wholesome, if not for the fact that I got to see for myself just how badly his health has deteriorated. He's morbidly obese, a heavy smoker, and his voice is terrifying. I almost thought he was a pedophile when I first saw him. FML
Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML
Crisis control
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my brother's home for his annual visit, lectures my parents once about their eating habits. They promptly throw away all of their junk food. I'm there every Sunday, and have been telling them to eat healthier for medical reasons. They never listen. He's in sales, and I'm in med school. FML
Dumbass idea
Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
She's not wrong
Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML
Health and wellbeing
Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML
On fire
Today, my parents have smoked for most of their lives and are both healthy as horses. Meanwhile, I smoked for two years, then went through hell quitting, and just had my first asthma attack and was lectured about "long term effects of tobacco, even after cessation." THIS IS BULLSHIT! FML
Top comments
Angitia 8
Not surprising. Hypocrisy is 'in'.
WCARlover 35
Do as I say, not as I do
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Comments (146)
sirsquab 12
First?
Angitia 8
Not surprising. Hypocrisy is 'in'.
lissa_jade 22
apparently so is being an asshole. thanks, captain obvious !
Angitia 8
I wonder what ^ said.
shayshayshazam 14
True. If you wanna be really cool, eat a big Mac whilst telling him how bad smoking is for your body!
ganjaranja 10
True, both are bad. But even though I enjoy the occasional cig I know it's the greater of two evils. What I mean by that is you can change your eating and exercise habits and see your health sour! Seriously, you can decrease your BP, improve your heart and lifespan, even reverse type II diabetes. With cigarettes, it's more like the damage is done, and if you keep smoking more damage will be done. Btw that doesn't mean you shouldn't stop, there are still TONS of benefits. I could go on and on but I think I oughtta stop now, adios.
lissa_jade 22
I was saying thank you for sharing, captain obvious (:
mystashisgone 6
I think it was as of 2004 Cause of death from obesity was just under that of smokers but was on the rise... Couldn't find recent figures but 8 yrs later not sure u could consider smoking worse for u than being obese. Not saying you are overweight, but I feel like he wants a better longer lasting life than his and knows the risks you may be taking.
ganjaranja 10
@47 oh I wasn't saying it's better to be obese. making a lifestyle change of your eating habits is a lot harder than quitting smoking, which is no breeze either. and nah i am not overweight. i used to be about 25 lbs heavier, but i was still in the normal bmi. Just some motivation to all those trying to get fit, you may think what's the point if i'm going to have cravings for the rest of my life? this is torture! But i was surprised that my stomach shrunk, my appetite decreased, and the cravings wore off. Your body will be your friend if your mind leads the way =)
Suchagoonnn 4
Making a lifestyle change of eating habits is definitely not harder than quitting cigarettes thats ridiculous. Changing your diet is just choosing better foods where as quitting cigs you deal with actual physical withdrawal symptoms. What kind of withdrawal do you deal with by eating better? Not getting to eat your doughnuts and cake but looking/feeling better? Thats weak man.
mystashisgone 6
I wasn't trying to dis you. Was simply commenting on what I knew about the fml. More power to ya if you aren't overweight or obese.
PlaySpades 21
72- Making a lifestyle change of eating habits can be more difficult for some people though, especially when you consider the possible environment they could be in. If everyone in their family is overweight and eats unhealthy foods then they're subjected to a lot more temptation than a cigarette smoker. You can walk away from people smoking but I personally think it's harder and takes more will power to sit and watch people eat food you used to love but is unhealthy for you. It really all depends on the individual situation. And they make patches for withdrawal symptoms from nicotine but not for food. Also, yes there is such a thing as junk food withdrawal.
hecallsmedarlin 7
72- There ARE people addicted to food just as there are people to cigs. Hince, it's just as equally hard to stop.
shayshayshazam 14
72- it's probably easy to assume that if you've never struggled with your weight. Food affects different peoples body differently, and while bad habits are a huge factor, there are often other things involved as well. Not to mention, eating isnt something you can just decide to stop doing and stay away from. People NEED to eat to survive. They don't need to smoke.
hecallsmedarlin 7
78- You are right when you say it all depends on the individual situation, but saying someone over weight who is trying to change their habits have it worse off than a smoker because they have to sit around and watch others around you eat the food you love, you're wrong. Smokers have to have just as much will power. It's equally hard in both situations. Have you considered that it is harder than just walking away from someone else who is smoking? Smokers have habits they have to break, an example, DRIVING. I'm a smoker, and I smoked while driving. When I quit for 9 months it was the hardest thing to do because driving is an every day thing. Getting to and from work and school and where ever else I may have been going. I couldn't just walk away from driving. I had to also have the will power of realizing I couldn't have that cig in my hand while I was driving. Hard hard hard habit to get out of.
PlaySpades 21
I do understand that it takes just as much will power to quit one addiction as it does the other. Food addiction is just as legitimate as cigarette addiction because the same chemicals are released in your brain after you intake said substance. Maybe I shouldn't have said it's harder, but I still think there's more support in quitting smoking than in quitting bad eating habits because cigarettes have a worse rep than junk food and they do make patches for cravings for cigarettes that are easily accessible which don't really exist for junk food.
hecallsmedarlin 7
I understand what you saying, I'm just getting that yes even though there are patches for the getting over the nicotine part, there are still habits you pick up that you do while you are smoking. Such as the example I gave of driving. Also drinking, maybe taking a walk for some... Its not just about the nicotine, its the habit of having it in your hand.also right after you eat.. There are certain times people smoke while doing another activity and that is also hard to break. No patches for breaking that part of the habit.
ganjaranja 10
Woah I wasn't saying it's easy to make a change, just that it is possible. I'm lucky I live in a fairly healthy family. But I have an addictive personality and when I was depressed I gained roughly 15 lbs in under 2 months and then food was one of my addictions, I struggled with an ED too, I've struggled with a lot of addictions, I may not know what it's like to be surrounded by poor eaters and am very grateful my family had the resources to afford healthy food. I think we all need to push for a change in what the government subsidizes. But one thing I do know is what it's like to be addicted to something, how it penetrates your every thought, I'm just saying it is possible to make a change.
hecallsmedarlin 7
87- I agree. Change is always possible.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
I've been overweight, and you might say 'addicted to food' (I always had to have chocolate every day, and about 7 cans of soda) and I used to smoke. For me, it was much easier to eat healthier than to quit smoking. My job was very stressful and the stress didn't make me want to eat, it made me want to suck cigarettes down.
anythingmustbe 18
lol this reminds me of the fml when the guy was trying to smoke the mars bar
coconutdaydream 7
tl;dr
lamort_fml 4
#2 is right; just look at the republican party
reaganomics 6
#110, ALL politicians are hypocrites...the sooner you learn that the better off you will be.
PlaySpades 21
91- you do know that cigarettes don't actually decrease stress right? It just brings stress back to normal levels, relieving withdrawal related stress so the stress you felt was stress associated with your cigarette craving. And no I'm not just pulling this out of my ass. There are many studies proving this to be true.
UMOISTBRO 0
Agreed.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
while it might not 'relieve' stress, when you're addicted to nicotine it sure helps relieve it to smoke a cigarette.
trollcrusher 17
Hypocrites, you've gotta love 'em. I hate hypocrites...
caplox 6
He doesn't want you to turn out like him.. Although probably not doing such a great job if he's smoking cigs in front of you.
onlychildFTW 34
Well it was a different time. When he would have been younger cigarettes were being advertised as healthy. So he would have started smoking in that time, very common in 50s/60s. Everyone smoked.
WCARlover 35
Do as I say, not as I do
hecallsmedarlin 7
I haaated that more than anything when my dad told me that when I was a kid. Just got me overly heated for some reason.
NeatNit 33
Exactly what I came here to say. He's looking out for you, be thankful.
vocaloidtiger 12
Hypocrites. The world's full of 'em.
YourAFailmod 4
Cancer sticks kill you slower
emeraldisle 30
Tell him you'll stop eating bad food when he stops smoking. Seems like a fair deal.
auzz1_pride 9
Only 1 problem, stop eating junk food is a lot easier and is less addictive then smoking so it's not really a fair deal.
DogsPaw 16
Either way it will both help them in the end.
hecallsmedarlin 7
33- You're wrong. There are people out there who are addicted to food, & this makes it JUST as hard to stop eating as it is for someone to quit smoking.
Suchagoonnn 4
They're addicted to food because they're weak and lack motivation. Might sound harsh but I speak the truth.
KBear3109 29
74- The same could be said about cigarettes. All it takes is a little motivation.
hecallsmedarlin 7
So being addicted to FOOD means your weak and lack motivation you say? What about people that are addicted to over exercising, drinking, drugs, cutting yourself? People addicted to tanning, whitening their teeth, or cosmetic surgery?Then there are the strange ones I've heard of...such as addicted to eating dirt, eating glass, drinking nail polish, sleeping to the sound of their hair dryer?...Wouldn't that mean that they all lack motivation and are weak? I mean according to you, because that is what you are saying.
hecallsmedarlin 7
^you're* weak
thiscrazything 1
I'm weak, because I'm addicted to FML. I really need to be getting up and taking care if business, but instead I'm wasting time reading everyone's arguments. Can't seem to stop myself.
xcrazymonkey32x 0
66 and 76 no eating food and your body craving nicotine are day and night. Yall are ignorant if yall think to quit eating junk food is the equivalent of quitting smoking. Smoking-physical addiction. Food-no self control. if you want me to call it an addiction to make you feel better it's mental, meaning no self control
KBear3109 29
ALL addictions require you to have self-control if you're going to recover. Caffeine is a drug with physical side effects, but according to you soda is easier to get off of than cigarettes. Some additives in junk food cause the body to become addicted to them, just like drugs. Don't believe me? Look it up yourself.
KBear3109 29
Also, I'd like to point out that the statement "Yall are ignorant" is probably the best oxymoron I've seen all week.
BubbleGrunge 18
An addictions is an addiction no matter how small.
ManInTheMachine 20
103-Sounds like something out of a ****** up version of "Horton Hears A Who".
tilda_0182 4
33 - Every problem/issue is an addiction and no matter how pathetic it may sound, it's the same all around. Of course if you're starting the addiction its easier to get out of than if you've been doing it for years. There's so many out there like anorexia and depression. They can't just snap out of it, they have to take the time to get themselves back together. My friend has had so many problems and every time she goes to the doctors, she finds more out and everything. She doesn't know who she is anymore because it has gotten so bad so don't talk out of your backside. If the uncle finds it more harder to quit then he thought then so be it. They will both be better off in the end, it's just the process. There might be people on here with food addictions and they find it really hard to get out of and they might find your being insensitive. Be nice and stop being an old one mind track fart that has nothing to do with their life.
hecallsmedarlin 7
I'm ignorant for thinking all addictions are equivalent? You obviously don't know your facts bud. So before calling me ignorant, look up what you are talking about. Did you also see my comment about other addictions, such as, over exercising, tanning, whitening your teeth, drinking, etc... Sooo in your mind those are mental, no self control? Wrong. They are addictions to some. I know first hand to stop smoking is a damn hard thing to do because I am a smoker. Guess what, I know people who have been to treatment because they can't stop eating. It's their addiction. Just as I know people who have gone to treatment for drugs, and sex. MANY types of addictions out there.
Suchagoonnn 4
Food addiction is an excuse for fatties to eat more. Putting the problem up on a pedestool when its really not that hard to change.
KBear3109 29
"Y'all" is about as much a proper contraction as "ain't". Try writing those in an English essay and see how far you get.
KBear3109 29
128- Pedestool? Really? The red line under the word means you misspelled it genius. It's pedestal by the way. Also, who are you to say something isn't an addiction? It's pretty easy to judge a situation you've never been in. Not everyone with a food addiction is fat. Food addiction often leads to eating disorders such as bulimia where the person will binge eat and then throw up. They can't control themselves. Belittling other people's problems is pathetic and childish. Grow up.
KBear3109 29
132- Have you ever been in a college English class? I don't know how they do things where you are, but here in New York, contractions are accepted if they're considered to be "proper contractions". Y'all is definitely not one of them.
tilda_0182 4
123 - was that aimed at me ? because I dont think i was talking to you... ?
zandalee 20
Ask him why the hell he is smoking then? Smoking is killing people.
auzz1_pride 9
8) you just like many other people have no idea how addictive smoking is, and you ridicule and look down on people that smoke. Why don't you give it a try and see if you can quit so easily as you make it sound.
zandalee 20
Actually I was a smoker for about twenty years. I had to stop because my doctor told me that if I didn't I would die...
unknown_user5566 27
I think people are jumping on the uncle because of how hypocritical he was being. Not going to lie- I smoke. But I also don't go around telling people how to live their lives from my pedestal.
KBear3109 29
You could say that with all the crap and chemicals in fast food/junk food. How do you know that people who eat it aren't also addicted? Everyone always thinks that the other person's habit is worse than their own when in reality, they're all bad. People just love to justify their bad behavior by criticizing everyone else's.
zandalee 20
51 - your baby is so cute!!
KBear3109 29
#52-Thank you!
hecallsmedarlin 7
People can be just addicted to food as people are to smoking. OP's comment is going to be full of all the non smokers giving their opinion on how disgusting and gross people are for smoking. I could just as very well say a person who eats nothing but fast food is gross. Even though I do find it disgusting, I'm not going to judge the person by their habit because guess what, what a person does doesn't make the PERSON gross. It is the HABIT that is gross. People need to remember that before judging or opening their mouth. Just a friendly reminder!
white16sox 19
My grandpa was a smoker. Then he had a heart attack and almost lost his life. Want to know what will happen if you smoke up to your old years? I hope you like carrying around an oxygen tank.
tilda_0182 4
He might hate smoking but some people don't have the will power to stop as it is a craving and even worse when your stressed. My sister smokes and she stopped when she got pregnant but she lost it and gave in so she's smoking again. It's really hard and my sister has been trying to stop for years although im sure she isn't that bothered as she's only nineteen. Saying it won't help. Doing it is harder.
pippacrawford 4
46- That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. Try smoking to prove how addictive it is?? The point is to not start in the first place
redwingsfan88 9
Wait until he gets the cancer.
skylar1991 5
well that's why almost all americans are fat, we europeans rather smoke than eat all of your mcdonalds so in my opinion u deserve it u should be happy u have an uncle who want's the best for u. and he's grown up probably so he can do whatever he wants. stupid americans!!!
redwingsfan88 9
Go eat an English muffin and GTFO
emeraldisle 30
11- Stfu! Smoking is just as bad, if not worse, than eating unhealthy.
unknown_user5566 27
1) I know plenty of Americans who aren't fat, myself included. 2) Cool, keep smoking to stay thin. Hipster 4 Lyfe, right? Let me know how the cancer, yellow teeth, and yellow fingers work out for you.
skylar1991 5
well i smoke since i was 12 i'm now 21 and it didn't do anything wrong for me if i'd eat junk food everyday i would probably die by now. and btw my teeth are perfectly withe that's why we use toothpaste
ChickInGreenVans 12
#11.. What does being American or European have to do with anything?? Just asking.. And don't come here bringing your stereotypical tendencies!!
egc573 40
I was somewhat offended by your comment--not because of the rampant Anti-Americanism in it, but because of your horribly written comment. Just how hard is it to write "you"? I seriously hope this doesn't lead to the staff deactivating the comments, but they usually do when a flame war looks like it's going to start...
redwingsfan88 9
It's already affecting your brain cause you can't spell!
skylar1991 5
actually english is my third language so... i just don't like americans 3/4 are fat, your films are the worst and if your presedent weren't black most people wouldn't know what his name is
redwingsfan88 9
President**
skylar1991 5
and i think that #29 just prove i'm right
skylar1991 5
3rd langage i told u can u tell me how many languages u speak?
redwingsfan88 9
Proved** learn to spell.
redwingsfan88 9
Well if you be a jerk people will be mean back. What goes around comes around buddy.
unknown_user5566 27
Ooo boy, this is going to get ugly. I'm going to drag my fat American ass to get some McDonalds so I can sit back and enjoy the show.
ChickInGreenVans 12
Skylar.. Shut up Now!! You not doing youself any justice.. You got buried.. Now move on..
unknown_user5566 27
Aw, man. Figures that I would have my best witty moments of the day get deleted because of a moderated comment.