Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML
Today, my uncle visited for the first time in three years. It would have been very wholesome, if not for the fact that I got to see for myself just how badly his health has deteriorated. He's morbidly obese, a heavy smoker, and his voice is terrifying. I almost thought he was a pedophile when I first saw him. FML
Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my brother's home for his annual visit, lectures my parents once about their eating habits. They promptly throw away all of their junk food. I'm there every Sunday, and have been telling them to eat healthier for medical reasons. They never listen. He's in sales, and I'm in med school. FML
Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML
Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML
Today, my parents have smoked for most of their lives and are both healthy as horses. Meanwhile, I smoked for two years, then went through hell quitting, and just had my first asthma attack and was lectured about "long term effects of tobacco, even after cessation." THIS IS BULLSHIT! FML
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Top comments
Angitia 8
Not surprising. Hypocrisy is 'in'.
WCARlover 35
Do as I say, not as I do
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Comments (146)
hhhwat 0
Just don't eat and then smoke, that's a spiraling descent into unhealthy-ism.
Dallasluver19 14
U should toke the cigarette out of his mouth and stomped in it
tionio08 0
Just because he is doing something unhealthy doesn't mean you should be. Eating unhealthy food can give you all sorts of issues too. Ydi.
white16sox 19
It's called being a hypocrite. OP's uncle was doing it.
tionio08 0
I don't think having someone being a hypocrite towards you is fml worthy
lifes_a_b1tch 7
Just continue eating however you want. If you die of obesity related heart problems, that'll show your uncle how much you dislike hypocrisy. Oh wait, the cancer will probably have killed him by then. Seriously people, just because the uncle is a hypocrite doesn't make him wrong.
JaysFanStu 3
My friends pregnant wife once tried telling me drinking diet pepsi was bad for me while she was smoking a cigarette. That conversation don't last very long.
samlloyd1976 1
F your uncle's life more like it. "Today, I told my nephew he eats too much junk food, all whilst smoking a cigarette. I'm an idiot. FML." I personally know how hard it is to quit smoking, but I was never douchebaggish enough to lecture anyone else about their health before I did.
krewer21 1
Junk food makes you fat... Cancer makes you skinny! Before you all flame, I'm a 12 year survivor, non Hodgkin's lymphoma.
vampire53005 6
Oh the irony
Fletchdads 9
Id rather smoke a pack a day then drink a two liter of grape crush a day. That junk food kills you faster than you think.
sarahjacquelyn 3
Take it as advice not a lecture. Junky unhealthy foods lead to all sorts of diseases too. Heart disease, diabetes, higher cholesterol, high concentrate of nitrate causing cancer in certain foods- like hot dogs. Everyone knows smoking is bad for you, but most people are blind to what junky foods do to our bodies. He is calling the kettle black though.