Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML
Three is a magic number
Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Great plan, kiddo
Today, my daughter confessed to me she is pregnant from a guy she had a three-minute hook up with in an alley with, but I shouldn’t worry because she’ll make plenty of money from her OnlyFans, since lots of guys like pregnancy porn, Plus it gives her a real good reason to quit smoking. I'm gobsmacked. FML
The state of sex ed…
Today, my 17 year-old daughter texted me, “Mom I’m pregnat” Yes, exactly how you see it spelled. She’s a senior in high school. Oh, and she doesn’t know who the father is. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Sex ed
Today, despite warning her multiple times, my daughter has gone and got herself pregnant by an idiot who has never held a job for more than 3 months, and once confidently told me the moon landing was a conspiracy. And yes, he scarpered the second he found out she was pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Top comments
meirginsburg18 10
looks like Jesus 2
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
Oops daughter
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Comments (97)
countrygirl71 18
You don't have to have intercourse to get pregnant. I've see too many teens who do not know that sperm can travel without sex. I guess that is why your daughter didn't know. It's obvious you didn't either!
Rodville 28
There was a yahoo question about a 13 year old girl asking how she could be pregnant when she never had sex. She said her "mate" told her it's not sex unless she is completely naked. So she has no idea how she got pregnant. I am sure more that one idiot tried that line on an unsuspecting girl and I am sure there are more than a few naive girls that would believe it.
ForbiddenDestiny 20
Tell her you're taking her to the Doctore to check if she's still a virgin. She'll have to fess up then.
underguarded 20
Well you raised her . You should know
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Don't **** with God...
Azaleeea 20
Maybe she is the second Maria
Schm17ty 1
And, this is why sex-ed is so important. Also, teaching our kids that the Bible cannot be taken literally.