Today, my daughter confessed to me she is pregnant from a guy she had a three-minute hook up with in an alley with, but I shouldn’t worry because she’ll make plenty of money from her OnlyFans, since lots of guys like pregnancy porn, Plus it gives her a real good reason to quit smoking. I'm gobsmacked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML
Today, I was joking to mom that at the rate I’m going I’ll have to start an OnlyFans to afford college next year. She shrugged like it was nothing because apparently prostitution got her through college and bought her her first house before she accidentally got pregnant with me. Um, WHAT? FML
Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
xaddrus 17
honestly? dirty work but they make a lot of money.
RichardPencil 32
Oh, no, the baby has a high probability of being a preemie! That is, someone prone to premature ejaculation. It's genetic, y'know. Three minutes?!?!?
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Comments (5)
xaddrus 17
honestly? dirty work but they make a lot of money.
Thaylok 17
Admittedly, even OP was thinking it.
RichardPencil 32
Oh, no, the baby has a high probability of being a preemie! That is, someone prone to premature ejaculation. It's genetic, y'know. Three minutes?!?!?
Sonotsuave 37
Um, is it too late to abort. Your daughter doesn’t seem to make the best decisions, or have morals to be exact. What happened in the parenting.
FuhQ 2
Oh you're filming **** in your room? Great, rent is now $1500/month