Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
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Top comments
_Noon_ 0
Uh-oh. How are you gonna tell your son? If he's really young, you can just repleace Charlie with Charlie the 2nd, without him ever knowing. Otherwise, you have to tell him and he'll probably hate you for years and yeaaars. FYL. Or better yet; FCL.
ChronicFAIL 0
Tell your son, "Uhmm...he was like that when I found him." Works every time :)
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Comments (104)
moonlight_daze 8
Poor Charlie. :-( That's ******* terrible. You killed your son's companion. **** his life. And **** Charlie's life even more. Oh, well.. Life rolls on.
GreenHacker 0
You're a terrible person. You're son's pet rat goes missing and you decide to vacuum knowing full well the rat is probably somewhere around the house? YDI
moonlight_daze 8
How dare you call me a terrible person! And I did no such thing..
PaperShreds 0
#18 is replying to get to the top of the page. He's not talking about you. And isn't it a bit hypocritical that you're upset over someone calling you terrible when you stated that the mother's actions were terrible in your first post?
GreenHacker 0
#21 is trying to be witty by implying I responded to his post instead of letting my comment fall to the bottom of the page. Nice try at wit #21, too bad you only made it halfway there
moonlight_daze 8
#30, Nope, not hypocritical at all. I said "that's terrible" not "you're terrible". And yes, there is a difference.
Ohnothingreally 0
Haha @ "How dare you call me a terrible person!" We are very sorry, your majesty.
violentturtle 0
The rat was already dead. YDI for not looking before you vacuum.
DameGreyWulf 1
What? It's a rat, not a mouse. Bitch can vacuum. She certaily needs to pay attention though, because, like I said, it's a rat. How the hell did she not see it?
Kukua 5
Um.....cuz it was under the couch.
WhatANoob 0
HE SHOULD OF NAMED HIM WALDO SO YOU COULD OF SAID I FOUND WALDO
iceex56 0
dead?!?!!): wow your a jerk. way to kill Charlie.
_Noon_ 0
Uh-oh. How are you gonna tell your son? If he's really young, you can just repleace Charlie with Charlie the 2nd, without him ever knowing. Otherwise, you have to tell him and he'll probably hate you for years and yeaaars. FYL. Or better yet; FCL.
nerdking21 10
Let's have a moment of silence for Charlie. Meantime, replace the rat, or say that you never found him. Who gonna tell him?
ChronicFAIL 0
Tell your son, "Uhmm...he was like that when I found him." Works every time :)
girandwogpig 0
Well it actually could have been worse dude. Charlie could have bit her finger :D
DameGreyWulf 1
LMFAO oh my god. Wow, that's great, 68. (and that rhymes)
SarahhBabi 0
hahaha 68 wins my vote for best comment :]
Cat0004 0
...must have been a midget rat...
Cerataphora 0
Or not an adult.... Are you so stupid that you call children "midget humans"?
ryguy1997 0
22 LOL
NathanKett 0
don't worry , it's just a dust bunny... er... rat
amatayo 0
The minute you said vac I knew the ending. Not even close to a FML
FlaminYawn 0
Wow, I can tell the OP is someone I'd never wanna hang out with, soooo overdramatic. After the first two lines you knew what the FML was, didn't need all that "I leaned closer, etc." crap...
icanhazlizard 0
Wow, that sucks. Can I ask why you were *vacuuming* when the family pet was loose in the first place? Is a clean floor really that important? Next time you lose an animal you want to find again alive, try not sticking something that sucks things towards it and eats them *under the couch* without looking first. Just a tip.
teotsi 28
Well, maybe they lose him every once in a while, and they know that he will eventually be found.
WonderBlunder 0
This is either fake or the rat is already dead before you suck him up with vacuum.. rats are INCREDIBLY fast and agile, no way they'll get vacuumed..