Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
_Noon_ 0
Uh-oh. How are you gonna tell your son? If he's really young, you can just repleace Charlie with Charlie the 2nd, without him ever knowing. Otherwise, you have to tell him and he'll probably hate you for years and yeaaars. FYL. Or better yet; FCL.
ChronicFAIL 0
Tell your son, "Uhmm...he was like that when I found him." Works every time :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
lrb081 0
Drsmartass, WTF are you talking about my lacking an adult vocabulary? I'm the one that had to explain the origin of whilst. Nice try though. Perhaps you should change it to Drdumbass. Flamin, I am an American... living in America. That doesn't negate the fact that most people know the basic differences between English and American vernacular, at least to a degree. I tell my 7 year old daughter to stop being cheeky and she stops. She knows what it means despite not being an everyday American term.
zoffix 0
What I don't get is, how could a rat destroy a vacuum? This FML is fake and not even funny.
FoundManyLemons 0
That ain't good news. YDI
avoidthegirl 6
The good news is that your son already knows his rat went missing so you don't have to tell him you vacuumed his shit pet up! Rats are disgusting pets. For whatever reason my dad thought I'd like one as a kid and they ******* suck.
harddaysnight 0
This isn't about your problems, okay?
smartalek 2
I have rats. they're probably smarter then YOU. and ^^^ are right. this isn't about your petty little problems. suck it up.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
You're a bitch and your rats were probably "disgusting" because you didn't take care of them.
love_the_fame 0
Charlie! Chaaaaaaarliiiieee! Candy Mountain, Charlie!!!!! Well, at least Charlie's in Candy Mountain now people, let's be happy....until they take his kidney! Lol
bookworm29 0
@MetalCraze: Would you say the same to someone who had a rabbit as a pet? Because rabbits are considered vermin too. @avoidthegirl: Shows how much attention you paid to that rat then. I guess you thought it sucked because you never went near it. Rats need interaction. You can't just leave them in their cage and hope they'll be happy. I have 4 rats and they are the most intelligent pets I've ever had. I'd also like to know why you think they're digsuting? Rats are actually very clean animals. Unless, of course, your dad found your pet rat in the wild.
xFaust_fml 12
Haha, do you know that Charlie is the French Waldo?^^ Anyways, poor rat. Not that I really care actually.
Roykoy 0
Aww...his poor rat. I would be heart broken. People think they're terrible pets, but they're such delicate creatures. :c
Allymeme 3
I call this fake... but if it's not, you're a horrible mother.
pot_n_kettle 0
Poor little guy. Don't beat yourself up, though. Mistakes happen, and your son will eventually get over it. =)