Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
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Top comments
_Noon_ 0
Uh-oh. How are you gonna tell your son? If he's really young, you can just repleace Charlie with Charlie the 2nd, without him ever knowing. Otherwise, you have to tell him and he'll probably hate you for years and yeaaars. FYL. Or better yet; FCL.
ChronicFAIL 0
Tell your son, "Uhmm...he was like that when I found him." Works every time :)
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Comments (104)
Superllama12 11
"Today, two years after the fact, I found out that my dad vacuumed up my rat, Charlie, and lied about it. Through FML. FML"
suxs4ulol 22
charlie sheen!
toxicangst 2
LIKE CHARLIE FROM SMOSH?! :D
jpqm32 3
He should have died sooner
SeeSea 11
um...those both sound like bad news to me..
oc1dnsn12 2
my pet rat named charlie died yesterdy D':
Steffi 26
You shouldn't have been vacuuming with a lost rodent in the house.
cwl727 33
So if the rat is dead wouldn't that also be bad news?
Anonymous2194 4
I reported everyone who says OP deserved it. How should OP have thought to check?
heatherrr17 19
How is that goood news?!