Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
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Top comments
_Noon_ 0
Uh-oh. How are you gonna tell your son? If he's really young, you can just repleace Charlie with Charlie the 2nd, without him ever knowing. Otherwise, you have to tell him and he'll probably hate you for years and yeaaars. FYL. Or better yet; FCL.
ChronicFAIL 0
Tell your son, "Uhmm...he was like that when I found him." Works every time :)
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Comments (104)
ladiesman14 0
man this really SUCKS =
Zoomin24 0
how the hell does a rat get stuck in a vaccum...? theyre way too big
Ladypartslegit 0
fyl that's an unfortunate mistake. but it was a mistake people. get over it.
FlaminYawn 0
I've been seeing the word "whilst" on here a lot, is that accurate? It probably is, I've just always used "while" because "whilst" sounds retarded in front of any word. Regardless, I'm still using "while"...
o0ginger0o 7
It's the British way of saying 'while.' The poster isn't in the US.
danielleFML 0
Who vacuums knowing that a rat is loose? YDI moron.
plexico 4
Poor Charlie! He took his final journey on the Habitrail to Hell. The question is: was he still edible?
plexico 4
Sorry, Charlie. StarKist isn't looking for rats with good taste, they're looking for rats that taste good. I know what you are talking about, DHD, when you get mixed fajitas at a Mexican restaurant, there are always a few smallish, grey ones that are always suspicious.
lrb081 0
I call BS. I own rats and I assure you that your kid's rat is no different than the rest in fleeing from loud startling sounds. If he didn't run, then he was already dead. To Flamin... whilst is an English term. Unless you're in elementary school, then maybe you should supplement your education because whatever you have now is failing you.
smartalek 2
While you are right, he may have already been hiding. and had nowhere to go?
shadow_woman 2
Irb081 is correct. Whilst is an English term, though it is generally not used by the general population. It is more proper or 'old' than most prefer to use. Think along the lines of Shakespearean language and writing. I do wonder how you don't know this if you have read Shakespeare, and from what I know, most schools make you read a Shakespearean play or sonnet at some point. FY son's life because his rat died, but YDI for vaccuming with a rat loose. Some rats are stupid enough to not run, or can't find a way, to run from a vacuum. If this is true, exactly as the OP says, Charlie was a very dumb rat. It is sort of FYL because you have to tell your son about Charlie. I really wouldn't mention the vacuum incident though.
CertainEuphoria 0
I am calling FAKE/BS on this one. As a former rat owner (I've owned probably six at one point or another).. They are entirely way too big to be sucked up into the vacuum. It just wouldn't happen. Plus rats are very social and (actually) pretty smart pets. They would more than likely be wandering around than hiding. Those suckers (no pun intended) can become huge...
smartalek 2
i've owned over 20. and im 13.
drsmartassMD 0
YDI...and the next time you post a FML write it like you're writing to adults and not nickelodeon...i think i fell asleep after i read "whilst vaccuming under my couch" seeing that i already knew what was coming..then again you may HAVE to write like that for people like Irb081 who are reading and havent developed an adult vocabulary yet