Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
_Noon_ 0
Uh-oh. How are you gonna tell your son? If he's really young, you can just repleace Charlie with Charlie the 2nd, without him ever knowing. Otherwise, you have to tell him and he'll probably hate you for years and yeaaars. FYL. Or better yet; FCL.
ChronicFAIL 0
Tell your son, "Uhmm...he was like that when I found him." Works every time :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
WowYouFailAtLife 0
Majorly deserved. you KNEW the rat was running around the house somewhere.... jeesh. Next time check carefully before you vaccum in dark places, if you know theres a rodent running around...
Syn_fml 0
This is fake, this was a commercial I saw: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqjZYRocr58
paprikacha 9
Why does everyone assume the OP knew the rat was missing? Doesn't it make more sense that she'd be helping to look for the rat instead of cleaning? Or that the rat hadn't been missing for some time now? Every FML starts off with 'today'.
dspadres 0
That's what Charlie gets for biting kids' fingers. You're actually an awesome mother for letting a rat into your house. Mine freaks out if she sees one on TV.
skyeyez9 25
I have a pet mouse named Max. He is probably small enough to get sucked into a vacuum, but I can't imagine a larger animal like a rat could.
triplethreat13 0
I wonder how a rat could possibly get sucked up a vacuum cleaner...? There are power vacuums that easily suck up large objects if used carelessly, but they're not the kind that you would use for house cleaning.
FlaminYawn 0
Irb081, I'm from America where nobody ever uses "whilst". Just because it's Shakespearean doesn't mean it should be used. We don't use "art thou" either. This is just one of the many differences in language between your country and mine. We say theater, favor, color, center, number, and toothbrush.
Amkii 0
FlaminYawn, I'm from America and I say 'whilst' seriously. I also say 'art thou,' but usually only when I'm being silly.
DameGreyWulf 1
Dost mine eyes deceive me? Actually I'm just like you 37 haha. I love using words like "whilst" and "spelt" and "smelt" I GUESS I'M TOO LITERATE TO BE AMERICAN...
melons 44
Er, in the UK we also say number and toothbrush. What the hell do you think we say in place of those words?!
Ladypartslegit 0
cry babies it's just a rat. and what she's suppoused to stop her whilelife because a rat got loose. isn't like she set out to kill it. it's the bunny in the oven all over again!
ayashe 2
So vacuuming is her life? I think she could have held off vacuuming a little while longer to help her *son* find his *PET*. It's good news that you found Charlie by digging his lifeless body out of a vacuum cleaner? And the bad news is you need a new vacuum? Wow. YDI, not just for that, but you knew the rat was lost. You should have helped look for it instead of just going off to vacuum. Those two things didn't make any kind of connection in your head? You are either incredibly inconsiderate (a big possibility based on the end of your FML) or incredibly stupid. Probably both.
farhil 14
let's use logic here, and no, I'm not being mean to the guy I'm commenting to, I'm just using his point in my reply. This lady seems like my mom, with an ocd-like disorder. She is probably the kind of drama queen prep that considers anything furry to be a 'rat' such as a small rodent such as a hamster. if so, she didn't care about the 'rat' then had the sudden compulsion to vacuum, because that is all important right? who cares about the sad son with a missing "rat". anyways, my point is even more supported by the fact that she said the broken vacuum was bad news, and pulling the mangled body of a rodent out of the vacuum was good.
MetalCraze 11
YDI for letting your son have vermin as a pet