Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, my son's school called me at work to let me know my son had broken his leg playing soccer, so I had to come and take him to hospital. I told my boss I had to leave, explaining why. He asked, "How old is your son? - 16. - He's 16 and he still needs his mother? You're not leaving!" FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Teacher - "So class let's learn at safe sex beca..." OP - "HAHAHAHAHH he said sex!" Teacher - "I don't see how saying the word sex....." OP - "crying"
emILYforever 0
haha that's like a kid in my class:) then we play penis:) and he can't stop laughing://////
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Comments (49)
perdix 31
Once he successfully completes the course, instead of laughing, he'll make ****** sounds every time he hears the word "sex." Omigod, omigod, omigod! Yeah, I got an A+ in Sex Ed. Omigod, omigod, omigod!
PYLrulz 17
I didn't realize your kid was Butthead
laevatin 2
Better have him laughing then crying about it. If its amuses him, then so shall it be. You should be worrying if he's 26 and still laughs about it.
DontForgetMe4 0
No big deal, this sorta stuff happens with a lot of younger guys, and even girls.
ycrem0n 21
Still better than 12 year olds casually talking about oral, handjobs, BDSM, tentacle, furry and stuff. OP just needs to guide him to the right path.
LSS_fml 18
What's BDSM? And tentacle? And furry?
TheDrifter 24
Don't google it, you can't unsee it. On second thought, go ahead, after all, how do you know what you're into if you haven't tried everything yet?
LSS_fml 18
Well I got told not to google blue waffle, but did. Pretty sure I'm not into that... So maybe I'll just leave these things in the 'I'll never know' pile.
redbluegreen 41
If you don't know what BDSM, tentacle ****, or furries are, I'd be a little worried as to how you've managed on FML. With the exception of tentacle ****, they're nowhere near as bad or disgusting as blue waffle, so go ahead and google. You're bound to find out someday anyway.
LSS_fml 18
Ok, wish me luck!
LSS_fml 18
So I found bondage, Japanese rape cartoons, and ***********. Is that right?
IHaveThePower 18
BDSM is a collection of sex games. Furries are people who dress up like animals because they feel kinship with the totemic animals. Tentacle is a **** genre popular in Japan, because they had censors that were trying to force **** out of existence, so they replaced weeners with tentacles and exotic monsters, thus proving that so long as there are humans, there will be ****.
redbluegreen 41
BDSM is an umbrella term, but it's not limited or equal to bondage. Furries ≠ **********. I'm not touching the other one.
nm11 4
I also found this. Somethings shouldn't be shared, scarred by the tentacle Japanese shit. :(
LSS_fml 18
Thanks for the help (:
twisted_cherub 14
Being a furry has nothing to do with fetishism. There is a fetish for it. But that's like saying everyone who paints their house has a latex fetish. Furries are simply a fandom centered around anthropomorphic animals. Anthropomorphic is the word to google.
Furrywhiplash 14
Like what he said, google "anthropomorphic." And it's not like my FML account name is a twist on furries at all... Thats preposterous...
TheDrifter 24
Now you're just trying to hide your inner freaky. It's too late, he's seen what you really do in those suits.
Schiffy 18
Sounds like a kid from my 9th grade Bio class. Whenever the teacher mentioned anything about the reproductive system, this one kid in the back would start acting like Glenn Quagmire.
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
Giggity.
bighood24 17
Giggity giggity giggity alright
akdakine81 2
He was probably just stoned
Enslaved 38
Wait for that second call, when he's in Geography class and the teacher starts talking about "Idaho". :P
redbluegreen 41
He'll probably be the one that responds with "Youdaho".
dukie420 4
I think the word ****** is way funnier
wlddog 14
I can't really blame your son. I have three kids and I still perk up when I hear the word sex. Your sons hormones are coming out of his ears at that age and he is just nervous.