Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Short fuse
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML
Unfortunate coincidences
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Dat ass
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Top comments
StopDropNRoll 11
Sounds like a great conversation starter!
iknowimawesome 13
"He did the same to me."- OP's wife.
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Comments (187)
GamerMatt97 0
Yeah so he drew sharpie all over the wall but do u have 2 spank him u know there r others ways instead of physical punishment
Amherst51 1
Funny. Then they wont learn why what they did was wrong.
jessthebest3 0
So physically harming your child is the ONLY way to make them see what they've done wrong?
StopDropNRoll 11
Not the only way, probably the most effective. Physically harming makes it sound like your beating them down when that's not the cause at all. Because after a minute the sting of being spank goes away and you are aware that you shouldn't do what you did anymore because it's wrong.
jessthebest3 0
Yes, but its still physocal damage. I just don't think its right.
starwind3438 9
It's not considered child abuse 57.
haydenbro03 4
shut the **** up.
koolkat27 13
#57 geez when i was a kid i was spanked all the time! im just fine today, and its not like kids are going to learn if you just tell them to stop. spanking doesnt hurt too much, maybe your just sensitive?
koolkat27 13
#57 also, you may want to learn how to spell "physically" before you point out whats right and wrong.
crazybrw 0
It's disaplin
mrjmaster1234 0
57 have you ever had kids???
GamerMatt97 0
Well he could talk 2 him try 2 give examples not 2 draw in the wall
Jaxx66 21
I think it works well. my parents spanked me when I did something very bad. not only did I feel the shame of what I've done upset them, but I didn't like the consequence, so I never did it again. same rule applies. it's only 'harm' if it's done to an extent of abuse or leaving lasting damage. when you spank a child you don't use strength, you merely show how unhappy you are with what they've done. it's not the pain of it that makes it work.
NAU_future 7
Oh thank you for clarifying that you're not "harming" them, only making them Feel enough pain to never do anything bad again. Maybe physical punishment can be effective, I wouldn't know seeing as my parents never spanked me. And look at this I'm not running amok, causing trouble, and all the other bullshit reasons you guys have found.
TheDrifter 24
The fact that you are a conformist pansy who never even had the wit to come up with, much less the will to try, anything outside of the rules doesn't change the fact that children who do need to be shown a form of discipline they respect. I for one, both as a child and now have no respect for meaningless words. Empty threats and rules with no enforcement receive neither respect nor compliance from me. What would you do if you got a child that simply laughed at a timeout and chose not to blindly conform with your hopes and dreams for them?
NAU_future 7
I'm so glad you know everything about my life. It'll make this so much easier... Oh wait, you don't. But you can make assumptions about me, so I'm going to do the same. Just because your parents didn't give two ***** about you and could only get you to listen by spanking you and making you fear them because they didn't know how to be a parent doesn't make me a conformist pussy. Children crave acceptance and attention. Let's say child acts out, lies, breaks something etc. Parent takes toys, sends to room and make them stay there while rest of family enjoys an activity. Child wants to be part of the fun, wants love, and wants parent to be proud of them. They become jealous and learn that certain behavior = no attention from family, no toys, no friends.
IbanezSprinter 0
well put. I was that sort of child. well I didn't laugh, but being spanked was the only way I learned not to do things. I didn't listen to the "don't do that honey, it's bad." thing I'd keep doing it until I was spanked, then I learned.
Jaxx66 21
I'll give an example.... one I even remember... I was around 4ish... and I decided that the cat and I want to stick a spoon inside the light socket.... my father flew over the couch, grabbed me away so quickly and spanked me-- earlier I had tried it and my mom explained that it was electricity, it hurt people and you had to leave it alone. well I didn't 'SEE' the electricity in the socket, so I guess I wanted to find out where it was.... I didn't understand the explanation, but boy the spanking teach me I shouldn't do it at least...
fatraptorjesus13 9
yeah send the kid to his room which probably gas a game console, toys and a bed...that'll show him when my parents started doing "PC" punishments I'd do shit on purpose when we were doing something boring so I could go play my n64 or watch tv or even sleep
XxgreymoonxX 8
200- I got spanked and hit during my childhood for misbehaving, hell my mom still does some times XP Now I'm 17 and an honors student, and you can bet your ass I don't do the shit I got hit for. there is a strict line between abuse and discipline. the kid did something wrong so he deserved a punishment. and quite frankly I'd prefer the hit anyway, I don't want my shit taken from me XP if I do something wrong I'll Gladly accept my punishment. I don't get abused, I get disciplined which is what happened to the kid
dirtyrussian97 0
225 you never got hit so how do you know that it's "physically damaging"? Don't talk about things you don't know about. My dad was born in 1943 so he's what you can call "old school". His dad would HIT him if he did bad things or was behaving badly and I mean HIT him. You should hear the stories. But guess what? My dad loved his dad dearly and my dad turned out to be the best dad I could ever hope for, and he hit me a few times, too. For instance, we had a good family friend over for dinner. I behaved like a monster, so my dad took me out of the room and smacked me pretty good and I learned never to behave like that again. And guess what? I still love and respect him and was always glad he had the good sense to be a real parent.
IceCreamMage 17
I love how people call spanking physical punishment. Gonna scold or report a guy who spanks his girlie during sex? No? Why not? Same kind of thing right? Both cause pain but one enjoys it while the other is learning from it. ;O
beccerz 6
people don't say to spanking kids so they won't 'run amuk' as you say but it is one way to punish kids some kids don't respond to the other ways in a good way, in other words they don't stop doing what ever it is they are doing so spanking is the only way to discipline them. every kid is different tho and not every kid has to be spanked for discipline...trust me....only spanking worked on me when I was little
beccerz 6
i was spanked but I never feared my mom i respected her for it...so stfu you don't know anything about that. also I'm not saying there's anything wrong with other disciplinary acts I'm just sayin it worked for me and my mom
Glambert_lover 5
Wow!!! ????? How are you going to explain this?
SweetJTBR 22
"Excuse my son, he drew on the walls earlier with a Sharpie and i had to Spank him." Not so difficult
wriptidez 0
kids love to draw on walls its the best right? until u have to explain to the apartment manager ...
rhysfucker 24
Sharpie, huh? At least your kid used the correct tool for the job...! Sounds like a pretty bright kid, unless he's 14.
Fairorie 4
Lol. I wish my little brothers were that cool.
jessthebest3 0
*meezer high five* whats ur username?
ThatChamp 2
Lmao! Talk about awkward
mad_hatter0666 22
Op- you totally deserved it. Physical violence of any form is wrong. Just because you don't think it's wrong doesn't make it right. I have to say that if what you did wasn't wrong, Karma wouldn't have come back to bite you in the butt. I have never spanked my son. I use time out as a deterrent and believe me, it works. Just some advice. :)
Zalandia 0
honestly, I would rather be spanked than grounded. it's over quicker
heyred 11
Are you Amish?
txgirl2013 14
Oh my god shut the **** up
mrjmaster1234 0
As a kid time out never worked for me by the time it was over I forgot what I did so I went and did it again. A little smack is not physical violence or abuse its punishment
smashgrab 0
56, I love the Princess Bride referance. 42, Listen to 56. That is all.
ReynshineCutting 10
Time out may work for some, but not all. A spanking works every time. You don't spank for every little thing they do wrong, but some things require one. When I was a kid, the threat of spending 10 minutes in time out was not enough yo deter me from doing something. The threat of a spanking was. Look how well these kids in the "don't spank" generation are doing, then compare them to our parents and grandparents.
Jaxx66 21
lol 56, the last part made me think of anigo Montoya (sp on his first name) 'I do not think that means what you think it means'
Jaxx66 21
seriously, 152. our poor world :(
mad_hatter0666 22
46- grounding and time outs are two different things. I said nothing about grounding your kids. 54- Yes. Yes, I am. 56- I understand what you are saying. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if it wasn't wrong, why is it illegal? Google cases about parents spanking their kids. And yes, i don't know them or their child bit there are other methods of discipline. Also, to answer your question, I do in fact know what karma means. If you would like the definition, here it is: kar·ma/?kärm?/Noun 1. (in Hinduism and Buddhism) The sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences. 2. Destiny or fate, following as effect from cause. More » Source: Dictionary.com 104- Really mature. 107-Please read response to 56. 128-Bite me. 151-Im sure she was talking to me and my stuck up opinion. Lol
timburr2011 4
Time outs don't work with the modern kids these days. Just cause you spank your kid doesn't make it abuse. Its a technique that gets to a kids mind faster since they love to push their limits with authority.
cutieepie101 0
I greatly appreciate the princess bride reference, but karma does, infact, mean what she thinks it means. "What goes around comes around." OP did "wrong" (I personnally do not see a problem with a little spanking now and again), and his kid said something humiliating infront of his boss; henceforth, he was punished by karma.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
No, he wasn't punished by karma as karma does not apply to this lifetime. Karma only applies if you believe in reincarnation because it is a collective thing that applies to your next life. Basically if you are an asshole in this lifetime it's going to come back and bite you in the ass when you are reborn into your next life. Stop bastardizing words so that they mean what you want it to mean. Next, spanking is not illegal. What is illegal is beating your child with belts, paddles, and other such instruments that will leave bruises. A simple spanking with the hand is a perfectly acceptable and in many cases quite effective punishment. You should really look up the actual laws. How do you know that the OP's child had not been given time-outs repeatedly for the same offense or similar (such as maybe they used crayons the last time) and the OP went to a last resort? As others have pointed out every child is different and certain punishments DO NOT work for certain kids. Some children don't give a damn if you take away their toys because they can always find something else to do. Some kids don't respond to time outs because they just sit a fume and make themselves mad. T On the flip side of that, some kids don't care if you spank them. They will take the spanking and go do the exact same thing again. Different strokes for different folks. Get over it. It's not like the OP is coming over to force spanking on your kid.
cinderella10383 6
spanking Is most certainly not against the law you were miss informed hun beating your child and leaving marks is against the law spanking doesn't leave marks behind... and if I have to go to jail for saving my child from running in a road or injuring another human then that's my job as a parent...
mrodgers96 5
Wow it's not a big deal! Calm down. Smh on punishments these days! Spank the boy! Spank him!!
XxgreymoonxX 8
mad_hatter I made an account on this website specifically to tell you something -.- spanking is a form of discipline that does not harm the child. how do I know this? I'm Mexican all of my cousins and myself get spanked or whacked when we do something wrong. and all of us still greatly love our parents, none of us call ourselves abused. there is a distinct difference between abuse and disciplining a kid. Ive been disciplined. I'm 17 now and there are still times where my mom will smack me if I did something wrong and I find that fine because I know I deserved it because I ****** up somehow. and when I'm older and I have kids I plan on enforcing the same kind of discipline with them because I know it's effective, but only when it's necessary. and before you say I must be damaged or abused or mentally messed up, let me point out I'm an honors student who is drug/ alcohol free. I can gave stable relationships with friends and family, have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend (not getting abused there either d:) in a bunch of clubs at school and varsity tennis. I'm a normal teenage girl. I'm not trying to be mean but proving a point, all that happened was the kid got spanked, not whipped or beaten or bruised so no it's not abuse
skaterboy101 0
man I feel your pain! mine likes to draw on walls too and embarrasses me at some of the worst times
LizzJizz 16
HAhahaa roflmao poor OP that ***** ******* comedy. So brutal
firestarter31 0
damnit bobby