Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
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Top comments
MarvelFF1243 0
Should've sent them to their rooms.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Hi, I'm CanWeMicrowaveIt. And today, I'm here to talk about a epidemic sweeping the nation: Dream House fires. Did you know that a thousand Barbies a year get killed in house fires caused by their owners? That's almost twice as many that get thrown away, or run over by a car! So please, call this toll free number 1-800-BAR-BQUE, or 1800-117-1783, and donate anything, to help these Barbies, left in the ashes, with no Ken to call them, And we will send you a picture of the barbie you helped. Remember, call 1-800-BAR-BQUE and help save a barbies life. Thank you
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Comments (287)
reborne 9
Great parenting skills. Amazed you didn't take a photo and put it on Facebook before doing anything about it.
malignantmegan 3
I was just thinking the same thing
JinxosGirl87 0
No, they FMLed about it first.
squidward20 0
Fake
michi23 0
You let them wath too much television
captainbj2 0
You are obviously not a parent...and if you are, not a good one....sending a six year old and a four year old outside alone us NOT good parenting.
lobum 12
Maybe you can "wath" an English book.
Toowoo 3
Haha that kid sounds like he'd be cool to hang with. We could burn stuff down, sing, and then go get ice cream
Sienna420 4
That's one smart child.
Sienna420 4
Well I mean if he can figure out how to do all that of course!
Darkus_Vader 0
Never send them outside again. He might burn your house down next time.
razzberri_fml 8
I'm waiting for the little girl's revenge !! :)
matt120784 0
At least he took it outside and didn't light it in her bedroom.
rainydayz133 6
I'm sorry, but that makes no sense. How did your son gain access to fire equipment? And why would you send two little kids outside just right after an argument unsupervised? Way to good parenting..
R4BB1T 0
Some people are so rude! Children do crazy shit all the time it has nothing to do with weather or not she is a bad parent! That's like crappin on saying your a bad parant because a child cut themselves! Oh how did they get access to something sharp geejuzzz Christ
Enslaved 38
There's a huge difference between an accident (which of course happens to the best of parents) and not watching your children properly. Now that the OP knows what her children are capable of doing, it should be a wake up call. Some how I don't think this is the first time her kids did something crazy because burning down a play house and chanting seems extreme for a young child to do. And I'm sorry, we all judge because that's all we know about the OP and what she did (or didn't do) would be considered bad parenting.
thatdesertdude 7
Grammar fail.....
mk58 31
Let's just say that I don't ever want to meet your kids...