Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
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Top comments
MarvelFF1243 0
Should've sent them to their rooms.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Hi, I'm CanWeMicrowaveIt. And today, I'm here to talk about a epidemic sweeping the nation: Dream House fires. Did you know that a thousand Barbies a year get killed in house fires caused by their owners? That's almost twice as many that get thrown away, or run over by a car! So please, call this toll free number 1-800-BAR-BQUE, or 1800-117-1783, and donate anything, to help these Barbies, left in the ashes, with no Ken to call them, And we will send you a picture of the barbie you helped. Remember, call 1-800-BAR-BQUE and help save a barbies life. Thank you
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Comments (287)
caplox 6
LOLL
umkcool 0
I woulda spanked him so hard he would never lay a hand on another lighter or match
Derrrrrrp32 6
Now that's funny
neonglostix 28
Pyros start so young these days. Maybe let up on the dragon movies and books?
missmcg 4
hahahaha xD
Attica 20
LOL favourited. Although it's not good for your 6-year-old to be burning things, at least he is doing so in the usual destructive little boy/brother way and destroying her belongings rather than attacking his sister physically. In other words, you're lucky because he's just a normal boy and not a sociopath. It's not so bad, OP. Punish him, do your best to teach him other ways to deal with his feelings, and by the time he's an adult or teenager, it should be a funny story, even for you :)
kc1997kc 9
When I was 5/6 they taught us how to start and build fires in girl scouts. It wouldn't be that hard to apply the knowledge to the barbie house. Plus I leaned about lighting fire with a magnifying glass fairly young too. Between the two I could have easily done this. I also was allowed outside to play alone at 4/5. The part that OP should worry about was the laughing and singing. That's not normal behavior for a child.
ashleyylove3 22
Oh yes it is. He's a child give him a break.
drayloon 50
the pyro's early years
hawkknight 24
You raised a demon.
str1kepa1n 16
Haha, he is a beast!