Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
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Top comments
MarvelFF1243 0
Should've sent them to their rooms.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Hi, I'm CanWeMicrowaveIt. And today, I'm here to talk about a epidemic sweeping the nation: Dream House fires. Did you know that a thousand Barbies a year get killed in house fires caused by their owners? That's almost twice as many that get thrown away, or run over by a car! So please, call this toll free number 1-800-BAR-BQUE, or 1800-117-1783, and donate anything, to help these Barbies, left in the ashes, with no Ken to call them, And we will send you a picture of the barbie you helped. Remember, call 1-800-BAR-BQUE and help save a barbies life. Thank you
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Comments (287)
tanzanika 0
Epic. I hope my son would do that lol
sierralovesyou 0
Nice for the boy, but I feel so bad for that little girl.... She must have been devistated. Get her a new one!!
nickle4054 1
What the hell are u teaching these children?
azrael_xx 14
Don't know how all these people can get off on telling OP that she is a bad parent/gonna call child services… sure, she should've split them up when they were arguing instead of sending them out, but anyone who's had kids or babysat siblings know how they're like at these ages when they 'fight' - really annoying and majority of the time over nothing. And with the fire, he could've learned how to light a match from anyone, an older cousin or friend even. Not everything the kid learns comes from the parents.
punkin_26 16
Nobody is saying that the mom sat the kid down and said "Okay Johnny, this is how you light a match. Now go outside and have some fun" The point isn't that the kid learned to light a fire from the mom, or even from tv,it's that she was irresponsible enought to allow it to happen. To leave fire starting materials within reach of the kids.
StormGirl142 24
Get him help. Now.
KiddNYC1O 22
Pyrogirl's brother!!
JinxosGirl87 0
What the OP left out is that the son carries a lighter on his person for emergency cigarette smoke breaks in between cartoons and nap time.
Mauskau 36
Ummm your young kids had access to fire?
Rawr6591 21
Thats how it begins thats a sign
creedaddict 9
Yeah burn baby burn