Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a coffee on my way to work and put it in the cup holder. At the next red light, I noticed it was empty. I'd apparently forgotten to put the lid on. My passenger seat was covered in coffee. FML
Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML
Today, I drove a different work vehicle, one with the cupholder right behind the gear lever. After multiple accidental attempts at changing gears with my Coke bottle, I threw it out the window in a temper. I then got busted for littering. FML
Today, I woke up late for work. In my rush to make a quick cup of coffee, I forgot to put a mug under the machine. I came back a few minutes later to a kitchen counter flooded with coffee and had to clean it up, making me even later. To top it off, I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my Stanley mug of coffee. Halfway to work, I took a big swig only to realize I had grabbed my son’s thermos of chicken noodle soup, which I then spat out. My car now smells like a deli, and I'm still uncaffeinated. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jacquie_lynn 0
I feel there's almost a part missing in the fml, what you have you're only setting it up, you should've had at the end "Guess which one I drank from"
xSwag5 0
I hate people who can't punctuate. I hate people who don't know the difference between there, they're, and their. That being said, smoke a few packs a day, no one will miss you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
OEsEben 0
i do this with beers at parties all the time.... its hard to perfect the face where you didnt just drink ash.
that1bowler300 1
****
wooters 1
that's quite rude 35
CantStopTheMetal 0
****.
gabsta 3
yeaa he's a male -.- it sais on his page :| hahaha and how is it 'slutty'?? but i do hate smoker so that is kinda grose
Lunasis 14
wow wtf is up your ass?
Tikal_fml 0
I've had that with beer. That's when I learned never to put out cigarettes in empty bottles/cups/glasses whatever.
JennaWenna 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think it's funny that you think it's a FML moment to drink from a cup that has your cigarette ashes in it, but yet you inhale that shit into your lungs multiple times a day. Just saying
KO2 0
Lmao! so true!
neorager_fml 0
Lol you're so right! ;)
blairvic 23
You are a genius!
KentuckyRebel92 8
It's their choice to smoke! **** off if they want to smoke let them smoke, there not hurting you by doing it. I hate whiny bitches like you
xSwag5 0
I hate people who can't punctuate. I hate people who don't know the difference between there, they're, and their. That being said, smoke a few packs a day, no one will miss you.
laurenballs 2
Actually it's hurting everyone around them. Ever heard of second-hand smoke? You should probably learn your facts before you make yourself look stupid.
kenostic 2
Smoking helps with stress and can be a positive social experience with friends. Drinking ashe, the waste from smoking, is like eating your plastic cup after drinking your drink. Smoking is not that bad especially compared to obesity and drunk driving in terms of both illness and death. I think your statement is both illinformed and incorrect.
GPAW 4
Wrong thumb... You know what also helps with stress? Crack cocaine! The best thing to do about stress is self hypnosis. Also smoking rips your body apart and make you smell like someone took a crap in your mouth, but like the others said in 4 years when you're missing a lung and we're treating you for emphazima do complain
keenflow 2
79- you are ignorant. Crack cocaine is a upper therefore causing more stress on the body dumbass. The only way crack would be used as a stress reliever is if the person was already addicted to it. Weed would be a much better alternative for stress relief than cigarettes for damn sure. But just because you don't smoke doesn't mean you should think of yourself all high and mighty. I'm sure you drink alcohol which is proven to be terrible for the body. If people are wanting to bitch about second hand smoke then walk away from the smoker or tell them to walk away it's that easy. No one is makin you breathe it in. And lastly smokers dnt always smell. If they dnt give a **** about their hygiene that's their issue but as for me I smoke and my breath doesn't smell like crap in my mouth. Maybe if you weren't such a dick and didnt have a one minded view on things, people could post and not get the tenth degree.
Harmon1970 1
To number 78: smoking actually makes you more stressful, almost everything you just said is false.
stonessm 2
81-Calm down! All that 79 meant was that crack is awful for you just like smoking and that there are many better ways to relieve stress than to smoke. And plus some people smoke in cars and around children and in those cases, you can't exactly walk away. Smoking is an addiction that takes many lives and hurts many people and people shouldn't say it's a good thing because it "relieves stress"
i_lik_tomaters 21
@67 actually they are hurting others with their habits. Smoking affects everyone around the smoker and also everyone they come into physical contact with because the chemicals will stick to clothing and can harm others
JennaWenna 0
:)
colton_colton 50
:D.
magicdust95 31
:P
Dimaranien 1
lol, it happens. I did that at a party once, and i instantly vomited all over the table in front of me. But hey, at least you have not reenacted the scene from American Pie...think about it, which would you rather, an unknown person's uh...fluids, or your own cigarette ashes?
alaen23 23
We judge what is more worse, not why would we even do this
ItsJustMe1616 26
So 87, would I be wrong in thinking English is not your first language? Lol
lalalala1234 0
i'm with #7.
bridgetaffias 0
maybe you should quit smoking... just a thought...
mcrflyleaf 0
#7, I completely agree with you.
qetzacoatl122112 0
Agreed with #7 and #11
mz200sx 0
to #7 and #11 .. they have their reasons for smoking, dont tell someone what to do.
eonkiller 0
I dont recall #7 telling anyone what to do...they simply made an observation.
chloe2114 4
Yea but she still agrees with them dumbass