Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
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Top comments
MarvelFF1243 0
Should've sent them to their rooms.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Hi, I'm CanWeMicrowaveIt. And today, I'm here to talk about a epidemic sweeping the nation: Dream House fires. Did you know that a thousand Barbies a year get killed in house fires caused by their owners? That's almost twice as many that get thrown away, or run over by a car! So please, call this toll free number 1-800-BAR-BQUE, or 1800-117-1783, and donate anything, to help these Barbies, left in the ashes, with no Ken to call them, And we will send you a picture of the barbie you helped. Remember, call 1-800-BAR-BQUE and help save a barbies life. Thank you
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Comments (287)
gene818 13
At least he wasn't singing "Fire water burn", if you know the lyrics. Just in case if you don't, "The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire! We dont need no water let the motherfu**er burn! Burn motherfu**er! Buurrrrn!"
CarouselHeart 11
Gee, then maybe next time get off your ass and do some parenting.
Javnok 0
You really need to take yourself, you son and your husband to a child psychologist right away. You have a future sociopath on your hands. Either he is learning this from you and your husband, or he is a little monster who will grow up to be a big monster.
HumanWiki 8
Congratulations. Your kid has all the makings of a criminal.
gochantizzlego 2
YDI. Where were you when your kid grabbed matches/lighter? •____• & why?!?
justalilcrazy 3
my child woulda known what a burning ass felt like.
Missamonte89 1
Wtf is a 6 yr old doing setting a fire
kam1986 0
Should watch your kids more ... Playing with fire your lucky it was the barbie house and not your house!
HideouslyHuman 10
Rav,that's very possible but it would STILL be bad parenting if the parent had left them alone with no supervision long enough to obtain a lighter/matches and then use them o start a fire..(What game were they playing? "Fireman Randy rescuing barbie...*siren*)
HideouslyHuman 10
Rav,very well possible,but by the post it sounded as though she sent them outside to do whatever,with no supervision,as the kid got as far as setting things on fire,possibly going through obtaining match/lighter first.
42billybob 5
1. You ignored them instead of rectifying the situation. 2. Your 6 year old son got a hold of matches. I'll spell it out for you: YOU ARE A NEGLECTFUL PARENT.
kei1108 13
Handle their problems maturely and like a parent instead of shooing them away so that they don't bother you... Doesn't that seem reasonable to you?