Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
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Top comments
MarvelFF1243 0
Should've sent them to their rooms.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Hi, I'm CanWeMicrowaveIt. And today, I'm here to talk about a epidemic sweeping the nation: Dream House fires. Did you know that a thousand Barbies a year get killed in house fires caused by their owners? That's almost twice as many that get thrown away, or run over by a car! So please, call this toll free number 1-800-BAR-BQUE, or 1800-117-1783, and donate anything, to help these Barbies, left in the ashes, with no Ken to call them, And we will send you a picture of the barbie you helped. Remember, call 1-800-BAR-BQUE and help save a barbies life. Thank you
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Comments (287)
funrush 2
That's a bad ass kid! I hope to have one those!
punkin_26 16
Do you also want a serial killer for a child too, Dumbass!
Sheh_fml 25
Gotta admire his rather imaginative way of getting revenge!
zombster3 0
Ha what are you teaching your six year old lol
landooooo 5
Great parenting. >_>
glglgl19 5
This whole fml is screwed up. first off the kids screwed up for lighting barbies on fire the moms screwed up because she told her 4 and 6 year old to go out side with out supervision and her daughters screwed up cause she didn't stop her brother from burning Ken
glglgl19 5
Yea I agree not everything is the parents fault but really sending a 6 and 4 year old out side with the equipment to build a fire and not watching them through a window is NOT good parenting.
sueannpalma 7
Ur son needs help n why the **** do u left him play w fire
lobum 12
Why in the hell did your kid have fire?! You are a horrible parent.
syraxthered 5
Lmao at least you know he will grow up to have a career with pyrotechnics
leadsails320 0
when I was little, I did the same to my own barbies.