Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML
Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML
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Top comments
iLazy 0
Blame Mario for spreading the shroom trend
YayorNay 8
More like FYL, her books were trying to eat her face.
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Comments (197)
Veronika87 0
Why do you let your sister use drugs in the first place?
M0rt 0
So your saying he's expected to keep his sister on a leash? That's her parents' job.
jordanthomas 0
By babysitting her, she's creating an enviroment where it's okay to abuse drugs.
BeeMaddness 0
how the he'll is he responsible for his sister
stacianichole 2
why do you think she's not responsible for her own actions in the first place?
livin_plur 0
haha you guys never done shrooms before? I highly recommend it, a low dose of all caps, you'll feel more in touch with nature than you ever thought was possible, don't knock it till you try it, shrooms are one of the funnest.
corrinaswan 0
she's her sister not her mom and she was trying to help
LikeaPRESIDENT 0
what If they were?
ciarafox9 9
he'd be real sorry!
himoonkey 8
then we're all ****** :/
sarcasticbitch 7
The FML should say. Today, my sister ate shrooms and she did not share with me. FML
RokNRoll11 9
ARE YOU @&$! kidding me, your sister does SHROOMS
ImAHomosexual 0
Thank you random twelve year old...
hazardoussmiles9 22
No shit.
himoonkey 8
are you @&$! kidding me! a ten year old on fml that can't say ****! :0
koortneyg 12
you're stupid
flashback.miss 28
what the,,,,,?
Person1233 13
Tentacle rape...? Interesting.
fiju 15
shrooms ^^
Person1233 13
Your sister deserves it for not sharing.
livin_plur 0
agreed, she obviously had enough to share if she had to call the cops because of her books, as far as I'm concerned, you should always remember you ate shrooms when something like that happens...
Petunia888 13
This FML made my day!!! Just one question, though: if she thought the books were trying to eat her face off, what'd she think after you tackled her? =D
carameldrizzle 0
at least she didn't see flying turtles and venus fly traps spitting fire at her
bewbies 3
is that what you experienced when you did shrooms?
carameldrizzle 0
someone didnt get the mario reference
gchartier90 0
happy canada day
icexcrystalxeyes 0
: ) i'm a proud Canadian !
mk58 31
Anyone who thumbs down these comments is obviously not Canadian.