Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister asked to use my blow dryer, so I gave her the keys to my apartment. When I came home from work, half my clothes were missing. FML
Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, my sister-in-law recently spend the night to hangout with my 7 year-old. She kept some of her clothes in his dresser. While doing laundry and sorting out clothes that no longer fit him, I found a pair of her shit-stained underwear shoved in the back of one of the drawers. She's in her 40's and this isn't the first occurrence. FML
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
Today, my sister found and read my journal. My first entry talked about how I shaved my ass for the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
A guy with a vibrator and journal? Hmm, whatever floats your boat.
kevind23 0
I'm a guy, have a journal, condoms, and a vibrator in my room. I'm not that messy though.
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Comments (103)
plexico 4
I'll bet she also shrunk the vibrator a bit, if you know what I mean.
kevind23 0
I'm a guy, have a journal, condoms, and a vibrator in my room. I'm not that messy though.
krissT 0
why do you have a vibrator dude
whyowhy26 3
YDI for not specifying your gender. =/
Nissi 17
If you're young enough to be still living with your sister and family, you shouldn't have those things in the first place.
SimpleSimon 0
OP could be any age and still live at home permanently or temporarily for various reasons. Further education? Armed Forces? Carer for an unwell relative? Besides, who are you to judge how old a person has to be to have condoms and/or a vibrator. Grab your hair and pull hard until your head comes out of your ass.
JukeboxBunny 0
I'm assuming Nissi is trolling?
Hemlock420 0
Maybe you should get a lock on your door?
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for letting her find your Clay Aiken underwear.
timboLDS 0
lol...well so much for your secret life eh? hang in there you'll be ok except for family gatherings try to keep a low profile
aaaaa12345_fml 0
why does every girl who posts on here have a vibrator?
SimpleSimon 0
Wait, what? Your vibrator 'soothes you in your afterglow'? That's a little odd right there...
DameGreyWulf 1
@60: Why not? (Admittedly I don't, but I still don't understand your issue with it)
MadeOfAwesome 1
Pshh, she wasn't trying to do you any favours obviously. She was plotting revenge on you and looking through your stuff for blackmail
aberfrog5 0
funny...yet embarrassing. and i love the name. hahah. :D