Today, my sister found and read my journal. My first entry talked about how I shaved my ass for the first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
Today, I found out my little sister took a picture of me taking a shit and showed it to her friends. FML
Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML
Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML
Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML
Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML
Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML
Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Wow you are very candid with your diary...not sure why that would be something you'd want to look back on or remember though!
ThunderLightTSV 31
Maybe try putting something simple in the first few entries next time, so anyone who snoops through it gets bored.
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Comments (55)
FrostyyFML 15
Why hello fellow Ontarian, that sounds very unfortunate.
FrostyyFML 15
I have yet to find out why this has been down voted so much.
doraquiexplore 13
Sorry to break it to you, nobody likes Ontario
superlloyd 15
because what you said was so lame and not truly in line with what fml is for. your words were verbal diarrhea. no substance, no nutrition and no one wants it.
ahabsfan 17
They hate us cause they ain't us!
roshkosch 11
Wow. Ontario is obviously better off for not having you haters in it anyway :')
FrostyyFML 15
It really is horrible here...
brezzyanna 17
It's no worse than other places.
Epikatz 22
Some people just don't appreciate the Red Death. Ridiculous.
ThunderLightTSV 31
Maybe try putting something simple in the first few entries next time, so anyone who snoops through it gets bored.
WCARlover 35
Wow you are very candid with your diary...not sure why that would be something you'd want to look back on or remember though!
katachristic 19
Perhaps she makes a point to write in it every day and that was the most notable event of that day?
ohSNAPyall 27
Candor writes the juiciest diaries.
Demon_of_Light 27
Not everyone keeps a journal to have something to look back on later. I keep one because writing helps me process my emotions and clears my head. Although, having said that, I'm not sure why an event like that would qualify for this type of journal either.
lexiieeex3 32
You sure don't want to forget that moment, woah what a time to be alive.
FalloutScrolls 25
Just trying to imagine the kind of look that would follow: "Dear Diary..." WHOA!
SSJ4Asterisk 5
Start putting in decoy entries that are obviously lies, and some that might be lies so that nobody knows. Write about how much easier life has been since you won the lottery, or how you spent the weekend driving around looking for hitchhikers and then driving them in the opposite direction. They're your entries so you'll be able to remember which actually happened to you (hopefully).
BrotherPhil 35
Or maybe a set of them, involving her, building up to something improbable, but squicky.
Tripartita 45
I imagine it started out normally enough… "Dear diary, I saw HIM today! Kevin! He's so dreamy! I hid my pencils and worked up the courage to ask to borrow one of his in precalc. He only mispronounced my name a little as he handed me the pencil. Now that he's aware of me, maybe he'll ask me out sometime!" …and then went straight off the deep end. "But I've heard he only likes girls with shaved asses. I've acquired a razor with a five blade system for maximum smoothness and am using it now. I'm shaving with grain initially to avoid irritat—I didn't know I had a mole there! I think nicked it. Yeah, I nicked it. Applying pressure isn't helping. Blood everywhere. Feeling faint. Save me, diary…"
pancakebunny 19
Whay the actual ****
prettygurl89 16
Best comment award
Setareh23 34
I had a friend complain to me about how she was reading her sister's diary, and a sexual experience was described..."Like, why would she even write that in a diary? I don't wanna read about that!" Diary's are meant to reflect on private personal matters, or document things you want remembered. I don't understand why some family members feel the need (and justification) to read another's diary -_-
dontknow1 19
Lol that was very convenient.
TabooSushi 24
I suggest putting a lock on your journal. Or locking it into a safe box.
Demon_of_Light 27
What for? I doubt OP's sister will brave those waters again.