Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, my 35 year-old sister, who has no job or life, came downstairs and told me she knows I can hear her thoughts. FML
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, I was stalking my crush's sister's account and I checked her family highlight. Little did I know, she had my ass out for a treat. Tell me why I felt like those cartoon rats falling into those mouse trap. SHE HAD A HIGHLIGHT TRAP! My crush ended up texting me, "Are you stalking my sister?" FML
Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML
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Top comments
orphinz 3
I've almost found you :)
ifailplzinsultme 0
A greyhound is stalking you? Woah!
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Comments (165)
iSurf_fml 8
Wait. Is she half bloodhound?
SteelCladAngel 0
with all the twilight hype among some people she probably thinks she's a werewolf.
agummere796 0
love comes in many different ways.....
Lexi_Ray 5
buy scent repellent
madhukar 3
and mace.
steveakafranxy 7
#68 made me lol
socalduude879 1
That's really creepy, but so hilarious. Stalkers these days!
anakaren_831 1
WTF! Is she a dog? lmao
iWantSprite 12
More like werewolf ahooo!
HoboPorn 1
Time to put that bitch down.
planetsmurf 6
you have to give her credit as she is putting in the time and effort:p ps I would get a new sister as that is just low
alex6946 10
your sister is a female dog & your stalker is just a dog
DavLynn 4
just watch. she'll want your butt hole next.
Teah9 6
that's creepy shit!
pandemic0774 2
no happy 4th of july? o_o and that sounds like a lot of fun op
volley4eva1698 0
not everyone lives in the USA on fml and they don't celebrate 4th of jullyy..