Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, my 35 year-old sister, who has no job or life, came downstairs and told me she knows I can hear her thoughts. FML
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, I was stalking my crush's sister's account and I checked her family highlight. Little did I know, she had my ass out for a treat. Tell me why I felt like those cartoon rats falling into those mouse trap. SHE HAD A HIGHLIGHT TRAP! My crush ended up texting me, "Are you stalking my sister?" FML
Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML
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Top comments
orphinz 3
I've almost found you :)
ifailplzinsultme 0
A greyhound is stalking you? Woah!
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Comments (165)
Archie92 0
Omg tell me why I think you're talking about my cousin Julie? She loves you Tom! And Katie sold em' to Julie for 20 bucks a piece.
DuRpY 5
soooo....does that make her a bitch?
Amburito 0
Oh God... Run OP D:
madhukar 3
buy mace.
frecktured 14
bring a pepper spray with you at all times LOL
ChiddyBANGr 13
Oooh, haha. that crazy bitch. See what I did there?
iBookFlippa 2
wear axe no one will go within 10 feet of you and she won't be able to find you until your sister sells her your deodorant
Enigmax2514 7
man she sounds like a creepy desperate psycho... then again all stalkers are...
SteelCladAngel 0
well when the bitch finds you throw her a milk bone and tell her to 'sit! stay!' then...run away.
jfarrow9703 11
maybe you should give her a chance, and when it comes time for bed, tell her OPEM YO MOUTH BIIIIITCH