Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
wobbly1 16
How long has she had a drinking problem?
MDoremis 38
Who in their right mind does that?! Reading that made my own **** hurt. Geeze.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
failedgamer01 20
Perhaps she was on the toilet doing it in fear that the pain would make her piss herself. I would fear the very same although I would rather get it done somewhere sanitary. Not that I would want the girls pierced. Ouch!
k_th0m 15
When in doubt, use a screw ?
rungta34 11
Ouch!
HeWillBeLoved105 22
I wouldn't let someone else pierce my nipple let alone me do it myself.
this_ghetto 16
#titiproblems
The_weird_one_2 13
When I went to get my pierced I made sure the place was spotless, I'd never do it in my bathroom
Mossygirl357 12
First that hurts to get it done professionally. what would make her think she could do it on your own?
ruthi666 23
Your roommate should seek out medical attention as she could easily get an infection. She could have also damaged the tissue. Also, it shouldn't hurt too bad to get it done professionally. I have 15 piercings including my nipples and my medusa (philtrum) hurt more than my nipples. That being said, a lot of "professionals" don't do it right either. I have a friend who has hers done but they were done way too deep and therefore never healed properly. Long story short, always do your research and NEVER pierce yourself.
angelofsaturn 23
It doesn't hurt when done properly. Well ok a lil but it's over before you know it and it's an easy piercing to take care of but you have to have enough sense to keep it clean.
jayfire3 4
Don't do drugs