Today, my wife bumped into my ex-girlfriend from before we met. My wife said that she’s glad she's hotter than her, and we laughed. She has now mentioned this every hour since then, and now insists I list the reasons why she’s hotter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife of 8 years bumped into my ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. Despite having never met one another and no overlap in our dating, they both knew each other, but both acted like they didn’t. My ex proceeded to have an anxiety attack, and my wife played aggressive mind games with her. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, a new girl showed up at my school and everyone really seems to be intrigued about her. I've been told at least five times today that she is the hotter version of me. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML
Today, my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend met each other. I don’t know how but they’re currently both getting on splendidly, while being mad at me like I’m the enemy of all womankind and should be castrated without delay. I want to go home. FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
JIMMY2CHAINZ_84 2
nothing good can come of this.
BrizBurry 10
better find that list. someone is feeling self conscious
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Comments (4)
JIMMY2CHAINZ_84 2
nothing good can come of this.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Hey man, since you're about to die and all, can I have your car? Or at minimum your TV?
Chazzster 32
It must be a burden to think that the only reason someone would stay with you is that you are “hotter” looking than the alternatives… Unfortunately everyone gets a little insecure sometimes - Remember Snow White’s Stepmom. It would probably be smart to reassure your wife that you love her because of who she is and that she’s attractive to you. Hopefully this insecurity won’t go on and on… You have my sympathy.
BrizBurry 10
better find that list. someone is feeling self conscious