Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
I guess you ruined her Feng Shui.
gonzaval 0
you should ask her/him before doing something like that.
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Comments (145)
Epikouros 32
YOU DID WHAT????
RAUN 8
Rearranging furniture into one big pile in front of their bedroom door deserves some ranting and raving. Rearrange your own rooms any way you want; for the common areas you should discuss any new arrangement together.
SpiritOfFire 8
Today, my ignorant roommate desecrated my important sentimental stand where I held my parents' ashes. She then called the cops on me. FML
Haven246 7
Haha are you Jenna marbles?
CBML 7
Man he's a fukin nigga
LadyGore 12
DON'T REARRANGE THE ******* FURNITURE!
razbery_nerd 4
NEVER. REARRANGE. THE FURNITURE.
jessherself13 21
Uhhh, OP, I sincerely hope you found a new roommate. I mean, I had a crazy roommate, but not THAT crazy. FYL, I hope you're okay.
ExcitingChives 10
Pfft i'd just have a panic attack. Seriously, run it by them before moving stuff around
cwl727 33
I hope you moved out.