Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
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Top comments
Danichaney 15
At least he's curious. I mean, who knows what you'll find when you look up unicorn dick-farts?
KitchKraft 21
That's a little screwed up. No, that's very screwed up. Deal with this now before it becomes a problem.
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Comments (147)
Ethan_Anonymous 28
What in the actual ****?
imyy 20
Come on, it's not like we all haven't searched for some crazy stuff just because we saw some weird comment somewhere...
201chasew 22
*cough* rainbow kiss *cough*
nesteremily 31
Blame the internet
gte225 11
Blame Canada
Sandman366 6
You've never really looked at the internet, have you, 58?
Smooth_Criminal 24
South Park reference?
_t_devon_t_ 12
**** you I'm Canadian
nesteremily 31
Nah just the truth lol
gte225 11
I said that because blaming the internet instead of paying more attention is as bad as "Blame Canada!" in the South Park movie. At least that's what I think.
zykrithium 22
Blame bronies
KitchKraft 21
That's a little screwed up. No, that's very screwed up. Deal with this now before it becomes a problem.
crackyeggy 9
...What?
Econforthwin 15
Yeah this needs to be a priority, otherwise the future of that boy is looking very odd.
tdawg91 17
Oh don't act like your google history is all school assignments, we've all googled some weird shit
Econforthwin 15
Oh of course but sharting kittens is a standard deviation or two away from most histories.
teentee401 37
It isn't already a problem?
Angelkisses130 26
He's just being a kid, looking up random shit. It won't be a problem, everyone looks up weird stuff
iop330 22
After that I would probably add "Brain Bleach" to the history.
Danichaney 15
At least he's curious. I mean, who knows what you'll find when you look up unicorn dick-farts?
mushroomcassette 21
OP's son does.
daltond27 10
I'm on it
daltond27 10
I found a drawing of a unicorn with a penis on its head and pooping rainbows
tantanpanda 26
that's what the incognito tab is for.
jackipdoc 31
Unicorn dick-farts must have been pretty vile to **** up his brain that bad
may14th 26
there's worse things he can be looking up on the Internet.
PokeyPorcupine 18
I do believe your son is what us "professionals" call an active imagination.
Vestin 18
#8: This needs to be taken care of immediately! If left untreated, it might lead to a condition known as "creativity" later on in life D:!
wheresmymary 22
He's expanding his knowledge
91hayek 31
and dong.
clitoria 15
Probably just random shit he heard on the Internet. Most of the things I see and hear, especially nowadays, are pretty darn cringe worthy.