Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML
Today, after I'd saved a baby mouse and was filming a YouTube series of me taking care of it, my boyfriend told me he found a “rat” in the kitchen, but not to worry he killed it and fed it to the cat. He killed my baby mouse, and now he’s mad I didn’t praise him for his brilliant extermination job. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, my cat let a mouse sit on his paws for several minutes, then just sat and watched as it scurried into a crack in the drywall. My cat is only 4. FML
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
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Top comments
therealslim 15
I wouldn't particularly like a mouse running over to my food and eating it either
RachelBerry_fml 5
Well the mouse shouldn't be on the table..
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Comments (130)
pen_is_hole 1
I see what you did there
therealslim 15
I don't.. What a poor attempt at 1st comment
starbucksguy 16
Which is what, precisely?
iknowimawesome 13
Would you kindly explain what they did there, for I (and many others I presume) don't.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
1- Did you even read the FML? Or were you too busy writing down some random comment
starbucksguy 16
24- maybe it's a generic comment that 1 always posts in the hope of being first. Or they're a knob.
iknowimawesome 13
Don't understand, is what I meant to say on my previous comment ;)
josiemorehouse 12
Maybe 1 is referring to OP's name?? Lol.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Are you from Ireland? No? Well, when I see you, my penis is Dublin.
bdubbstheman 5
Either a stupid first comment or stating the irony. While a mouse that could easily be crushed dares to eat from said boyfriends plate the boyfriend is scared of a mouse that could at worst give him a small bite
yellowman57 13
Wtf is with your photo, you look like a complete ******
KiddNYC1O 22
Enlighten us, #1!
humorizer 14
While I was reading this, I was taking the sentence literally.
LilliPage 17
I was, too. I was imagining this tiny mouse dragging giant balls over his plate. It was a funny image.
therealslim 15
I wouldn't particularly like a mouse running over to my food and eating it either
Saryrr 3
Especially if it had bigger balls then a human. They would be dragging over the food.
NurseHolly 3
Ugh that's disgusting.
youjustmademelol 4
Just because he's a guy he can't be scared of a mouse?
hatesfate 6
Shouldn't this be FHL for having a girlfriend who allows her pet rodents to run around the dinner table? Isn't it mice (or is it rats?) that leave a trail of urine as they scurry places?
Fisahgurl 1
Ugh thanks #55. I know have a horrible mental picture of what you just posted. -.-
Saryrr 3
You're welcome. The mouse would have to kind of roll to get around.
SW500 13
Meh I'd play with it. I like domesticated animals quite a lot.
NuTrees 9
55- I don't know why that made me laugh so hard. Thank you I needed that.
DespairFaction 11
I would not want a mouse on the dinner table either. That mouse would get thrown outside.
onlychildFTW 34
No one wants any type of animal, let alone rodent, running on an eating area. Then add on the mouse munching your food. Bam. Not so excited about that.
TheFamilyElf 17
Ahh, it's always so nice to see a man reveal his feminine side. :P
RachelBerry_fml 5
Well the mouse shouldn't be on the table..
jannielovesjack 0
Especially while someone is eating. I understand that the mouse is a pet and one of the family but, that is unsanitary.
NiecyLuv365 1
I agree.
theunwiseone 4
Mmm very hygienic.
Redoxx_fml 22
Yeah Jerry
Suba_fml 8
I wonder what you should do next.
BossFML1996 1
Pimp slap the mouse!
silvercamaro 22
...troller
DeathBunny218 37
Very few phobias are rational. The screaming might have been a bit of an over reaction but seeing as YOU don't have to suffer with the phobia he deserves this FML much more than you.
SkoomaKi 28
It was Stuart Little's evil twin, Stuarto. He probably threatened your boyfriend with a stabbing last night. Can you blame him for screaming?
starbucksguy 16
Rattata used bite! It was super-effective! Wild OP's boyfriend fainted!
DracoSpirita 21
^This freaking made my day.
Cappiej 18
Oohh then the boyfriend is the physic-type :3.