Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML
Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML
Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML
Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I have a funny feeling that woman is going to have an accident soon. Either karma or you is going to make it happen.
muzy 23
I know who op won't be saving if they're drowning !
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
stormchaser24 24
Wow that is some bad luck there. FYL. I hope you banned her from the pool. Maybe you should push her in next time.
shortvirgo13 7
Wow the fact that people like you turn a harmless comment into something more just angers me. First o all they said maybe and second of all I think OP has enough sense not to take bad advice from FML comments. Grow up and stop attacking people about their harmless statements.
The_Hitdude 12
21- FearShrine literally said nothing that could count as attacking 1. Giving a hypothetical situation is all they did. There was no cursing or name-calling whatsoever. In fact, the only person I see over dramatizing a comment is you. Defending someone for making a stupid comment will make you look stupid aswell. Think about that next time.
KhrystinaS 0
You dont make sense.
nado13579 12
Neither do you.
BigDirtySteez 1
You are a baby. Have a sense of humor troll
onlychildFTW 34
She deserves a lot more then just a push in a pool. Head injuries are no joke. Especially when he might even have a stuff neck. With his job he could be out for awhile. He kinda needs to be able to move about and whatnot. OP ban her for life. It's careless behavior and assault in away. Hope you aren't to banged up OP.
SkoomaKi 28
I have a funny feeling that woman is going to have an accident soon. Either karma or you is going to make it happen.
Il_Maestro 6
Karma? A little too much reddit, eh?
SkoomaKi 28
No, more like the supernatural belief of events being balanced with opposite events to make it neutral.
Drigr 9
What's karma have to do with reddit? I don't even go on reddit, yet I understand the sayings such as "Karma's a bitch" and "Karma will get them back"
Il_Maestro 6
Ha I know, I was just shooting for a joke. I understand what karma is. Accept my apologies for the poorly delivered joke. We all have off days.
VoteForTaco 8
When does the narwhal bacon?
GracesDelirium 9
44- At midnight, of course.
SkoomaKi 28
I have actually developed a mathematical and alphabetical formula for finding out the answer to when the narwhal bacons. One sec.
SkoomaKi 28
Okay, to find the answer we take the first letters of each word of the phrase and count the number they are in the alphabet like this: •W - 23 •D - 4 •T - 20 •N - 14 •B - 2 If we add them all up we get 63. We then find the mean which is 12.6. If we count 12 times into the alphabet we the letter "L". So now we have 12L which means 12 o'clock at "low" sun. So therefore Midnight.
Drigr 9
But... Aren't you supposed to round up...?
SkoomaKi 28
#58 - NO! You only take the numbers in front of the decimal point, I've worked too hard on this.
GracesDelirium 9
That's brilliant.
RedCrow 0
Or both.
muzy 23
I know who op won't be saving if they're drowning !
iLoveTo69Bitches 0
Dumb bitch.
GracesDelirium 9
31-yeah....no.
uJelly24 1
Thats got nothing to do with irony,just how immature and stupid some people are.
SebastianG 2
Karmas a b*tch so feel better and it'll get her :)
Da_Bauss435 8
And by it you mean the pool while he's not looking
SebastianG 2
Sure! Ha
Easybreezy1 0
It's times like these I'll bet you wish you had a different job...lol
Il_Maestro 6
I'm pretty sure this isn't a frequent event for lifeguards
booboo1997 3
How is it ironic ?
SkoomaKi 28
A spine-board is used for supporting and correcting your spine, neck and head's position. So when OP got a concussion from it, it makes it ironic.
Tali147 16
10 - I sincerely appreciate your clarification. I too was wondering.
SkoomaKi 28
#50 - The pleasure is all mine.
docscientist 10
But it's not really ironic to be hit with one and suffer injuries. Spine-boards are heavy duty, they should be expected to hurt when they fall. If op were strapped in to prevent further injury but got her neck injured because she was in one, that's starting somewhere.
mpsteve137 15
What'll be REAL ironic is when one of them are drowning and you won't save the douchebags
3rdbass 9
Yes, I'm sure at some point he considered activating bullet-time.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
29- I've had a preorder on that shit for 3 months!
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
You *are* referencing Max Payne 3, correct?
jtthegr8 26
Did you not think to get out of the way?
garebear13 4
Do you have eyes in the back of your head? No? Neither does OP
jtthegr8 26
It would be pretty easy to hear -.-
jtthegr8 26
It was behind him
maosquare 18
Do you always hear the thing that was behind you? I sure hope not. Because if I do, I'm sure I'll scare myself shitless three quarters of the time. It's like the makings of a horror film.
obri98 10
I don't know OP personally, but I'm pretty sure they aren't psychic :1
Keevarou 17
As its said here in Norway. "when a door closes, another one opens" You could always try and do something new in the "spare time" if you got a sick leave because of the accident :) So try and make the most out of it!:) But sure sounds like it hurts. And of you're lucky, you will soon be back at work if you really like it there. Yeah, I know. A lot of assuming^^" Fyl
elephantom12 9
I don't think any doors closed here, he'll just have a stiff neck for a few days.
owend3 0
Whats a spine-board?
THE_A_TEEN 28
A heavy piece of wood that hides a magical genie.
tj4234 36
it's the board that they use to carry people out of the pool who are injured. It's called that because it's their to stop (hopefully) you from getting a spinal injury.
Anai08 17
I know some will find it dumb, which is why 11's question was thumbed down, but I don't know what a spine board is either. Seriously, what is it/how is it used?
KairoFallin 0
A spine board is used to get a unconscious drowning victim out of the water. The board is hard therefore their body is immobilized from getting bent up or something. Helps from getting further injury and getting them out. I'm a lifegaurd so I know this is what it's used for.
j_cat187 20
Great way to remember how to strap someone in a backboard. Nipples, nuts, knees.
Anai08 17
Thanks for the explanation, I posted my comment before they appears (stupid iPhone app)
KairoFallin 0
Except if it's a girl * wink wink *
karengurske 4
A spine board is used for rapid extrication of an unconscious guest or for when a suspected spinal injury is present. In the case of a suspected spinal, you strap them down, maintain alignment, and place head stabilizers. As lifeguards we have less then 3 minutes from start to finish to get the fully stabilized and 6 feet away from the pool.