Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, I was called gross by my mother for not cleaning my bathroom. I normally clean it every day, but today it looked clean, and I really needed a break. FML
Today, I'm banned from the only working bathroom in my house because my mother is cleansing for an upcoming colonoscopy. My options are either a bucket in the basement, or wetting myself. FML
Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML
Today, I had my first day off in six months. My mother immediately came down to my room and demanded that I clean the entire house. As I was cleaning, she said, "You don’t get to relax. Ever. Lazy ass." FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML
Today, I swear I’m going to just refuse to use the toilet when my mom is home on principle because whenever I go, no matter the time of day or night, that will be the exact moment she's bursting for a pee, and needs me out "NOW NOW NOW!" I haven’t had a relaxing, uninterrupted shit in almost a month. FML
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Top comments
GrinchFu1 27
Pee in the sink. If you have to poop, well, there's still the sink...
cutycat136 28
Haha my mom does the same thing after she cleans something. Just let her have one day before all of her hard word gets used up and she feels like her work went to waste. I don't think it's an OCD problem, I think it's a "she works hard on everything all the time and everyone else in the household goes and makes a mess of everything as soon as she's finished" problem.
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Comments (67)
Fas4wd 13
I know that feeling. Apparently getting the sink wet after cleaning it is a big no-no in my house too.
interesting33 37
I think it is that she has OCD which is serious and not just a case of someone cleaning and being irritated if someone messes it up. It is also not something OP can fix by cleaning and I think many of the comments don't recognise that. :)
melanielovejeff 15
Lol... I have a mother like that. Once, my mother literally told me to wipe the mirror of my finger prints every single time I open and close the medicine cabinet to get my toothbrush -_-
Soooo_Creative 7
I know how you feel bro. My moms the same way.
inolongercare 19
I think this depends on your "aim" i have some relatives that can't aim. Or you could clean toilets yourself. If you are clean when using it, then she won't know you used it,
Omniprism 15
Go get one of her kitchen pots.
CandyApple88 13
Comment #66 has the right idea. Use a kitchen pot. If you can't use the toilet, then pee/shit on the floor next to the toilet. At least its the same room. Maybe put some newspaper down first.
Boren 11
tell her that's fine, then ask her what sink she'd like you to take a taco bell powered dump in
TwentyFourBeerz 18
Go poo on the bed, she'll be alright