Today, I'm banned from the only working bathroom in my house because my mother is cleansing for an upcoming colonoscopy. My options are either a bucket in the basement, or wetting myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML
Today, I swear I’m going to just refuse to use the toilet when my mom is home on principle because whenever I go, no matter the time of day or night, that will be the exact moment she's bursting for a pee, and needs me out "NOW NOW NOW!" I haven’t had a relaxing, uninterrupted shit in almost a month. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I'm stuck at home waiting on a plumber to come fix the flooding in my basement. The flooding happens when any sink, shower, or toilet in the house is used. Today is also the day that I started my period. Without water. FML
Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML
Today, after breaking my leg, I'm unable to put any weight on it whatsoever. Our bedroom? Upstairs. Our only bathroom? Basement. My husband thought it would be a great idea to leave me alone and unable to walk to go babysit his nieces. I had to piss in a bucket. FML
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Not true. That prep makes your ******** so urgent, you can't afford even the slightest delay. Sorry you only have one working toilet.
MovieFreak1978 11
she cannot ban you from the bathroom, even if she is doing the prep you can still use it. my parents have gone though it and you could still use the bathroom
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Comments (8)
MovieFreak1978 11
she cannot ban you from the bathroom, even if she is doing the prep you can still use it. my parents have gone though it and you could still use the bathroom
RichardPencil 32
Not true. That prep makes your ******** so urgent, you can't afford even the slightest delay. Sorry you only have one working toilet.
theyellowgoose 3
I feel worse for your mom. nothing wrong f with going in a bucket. I've done it camping...
Inkoseh 33
Bucket with a double-bagged grocery bag to catch and tie. If you're both women, just quick use the shower and pee. If it was that dire, I'm sure your mom wouldn't mind, and keep the liquid intake low for the day. It's not the worst case scenario! It'll be over soon.
Chazzster 32
I noticed you implied there was a non-working bathroom. This is why if a toilet breaks you get it fixed right away even if you have another bathroom.
peterblack67 9
Obviously you are a city girl. If possible go outside.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Do you really want to get in the way of someone who is cleansing for a colonoscopy?
BurnInDemonFire 39
I strongly advise using the bucket. You don't want your clothes reeking of piss and shit. Also, go with her when she has her colonoscopy, and sing "I wonder what's inside your butthole" while you're waiting.
SquirrelRulingtheWorld 8
Boo, I promise you this situation sucks way, way more for your mom than it does for you.
peterblackmer91 12
For God's sake. Go outside. Have you never peed outside???