Today, I swear I’m going to just refuse to use the toilet when my mom is home on principle because whenever I go, no matter the time of day or night, that will be the exact moment she's bursting for a pee, and needs me out "NOW NOW NOW!" I haven’t had a relaxing, uninterrupted shit in almost a month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm banned from the only working bathroom in my house because my mother is cleansing for an upcoming colonoscopy. My options are either a bucket in the basement, or wetting myself. FML
Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML
Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Advance 57
Fake it: Go regularly to the toilet, get out when she asks to go in, and when you really need it, just tell her she just went.
Nikki 17
You could just ask her if she needs to use the toilet before you start your poo?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
Advance 57
Fake it: Go regularly to the toilet, get out when she asks to go in, and when you really need it, just tell her she just went.
Hangryko 32
Tell your mom to pee on a schedule. Meanwhile when you're in the bathroom, lock the door and wear noise cancelling headphones.
Nikki 17
You could just ask her if she needs to use the toilet before you start your poo?
D J's MOM 17
something wrong with that woman.........
Sinshine 28
Ignore her? You can’t let her control you like that. Either she’s messing with you or taking pressure in having control over you. And if she really can’t hold it in for a few minutes or know when she has to go before it gets urgent, she’ll have to see a doctor.