Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML
Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML
Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML
Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML
Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, I flew home to visit my parents. We haven't seen each other in two years, I've gotten a few tattoos done since, and I knew they wouldn't approve, so I bought whole new outfits that covered everything and looked professional. When I got there, the first thing my mom says to me is, "Is that a nose ring!?" FML
Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Just point to your arms and tell him "they ought to be more worried about these guns."
shaaza 16
Since when did "face-bombs" become a thing?
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Comments (57)
xoxo_emma 10
Sounds like your dad isn't very sensitive.
vixypixys 13
Or he taught his kids to laugh at themselves. Zits aren't shameful things we need to be sensitive about. Jebus!
MetalxSoldier 26
Buuuurrrrnnnn!!!! -Kelso voice You might want to apply ice to that burn and acne medicine to that zit. But don't worry, it will be gone before you know it.
kaitlynjane 28
I think it really would depend on OP's relationship with their father. If he's always a joking kind of guy, and they poke fun at eachother, I think that was a pretty funny thing to say. However, if they don't have a good relationship and the dad said this just to be mean, that's not cool.
SlimDanny 15
I feel like if they didn't have a good relationship to the point where he purposefully tries to hurt OP, then he wouldn't have given her a ride to the airport.
shaaza 16
Since when did "face-bombs" become a thing?
tranced_ 45
remember that game "bomberman" of 16 bits? It's head was a bomb. .
kaitlynjane 28
When "face-palms" became to mainstream :D
teentee401 37
*too
XxxMiseryxxX_fml 10
Well, there was an underwear bomber, terrorists are getting creative... so why not?
Welshite 40
Just point to your arms and tell him "they ought to be more worried about these guns."
Miss_Whipped 43
This was fantastic.
Reduct 12
You sir, won this whole thread.
khan123 5
that would be the worst comeback in the history of this universe...
Dillyduzit 23
I understand why you might be upset about his comment but it's actually really funny, sorry. Hopefully you'll laugh at it one day! :)
Alexya_fml 2
At least, you learned it from him and not someone else.
brvnnx 18
Well, your dad has a sense of humor. A mean one.
Morning_fml 22
That was a good burn, you have to admit. You're probably still beautiful as hell, so don't worry.
theperfectchild 13
What if OP is a girl?
ShowMeKay 20
What difference does OP's gender make? Nothing changes in the FML or the fact that their dad has a pretty good sense of humour lol
wakemeupplease 21
he's so mindful and cares about your welfare
trickster91420 21
He said bomb! (tackles op to the ground). "And that kids is how i got on the no fly list."