Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I found out that my shower area is in direct view from my neighbours' balcony. I realised this when I caught my neighbour and his wife watching me while I was getting dressed. I've been living here for 7 years. FML
Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML
Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML
Today, I learned my boyfriend has been going to our attractive female next door neighbor’s house without telling me while I'm at work. He claims it’s “because her house has AC and we don’t." FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SinatraStyle 3
Call the police and get a gun....you got a stalker...and call Chris Hansen too!!
no1askdu 5
hopefully hes not refering you as a bedroom and the carpet as your ....well you know.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
iFruit 0
CHECK UNDER YOUR BED, OP. This is serious, we ain't lookin' fo' no boogeyman...
Jennydew 0
Sounds like you have a secret admirer.....
RKftw 0
YDI for having nice carpeting in your house
BreakingtheHabit 0
Shut up, ass face, no-one cares about your sex life, seriously. I don't see why people feel the need to just start arguments on these things all the time, it's just horribly irritating. So stop judging people you don't know, and stop being such an obnoxious eejit. To the OP, that is... quite creepy, but not neccessarily anything to get too worked up about. Like other people said, it might be best to just keep your blinds closed if you're afraid of people seeing in. He could just have been making an observation to start a conversation.
ashiedeanilz 0
wow.. the people on here are so nice! haha (sarcasm, for those of you who didn't get it...) why do all you guys jump to conclusions and judge people and say so much bad stuff?
popcorncomics 0
Why is it people always scream and shout out "CLOSE YOUR BLINDS CLOSE YOUR BLINDS!" Are we never allowed to ever have them open? I agree they should be closed at night, but what about in the day? What if it's sunny outside? Are you saying that you might as well not have windows at all?
kayLatta 0
youre all faggots. OP: **** you
orchids_torturer 0
i liked it too. the earthtone berber really accented the plants in the corner. by the way, ur out of milk. the orchids' torturer has spoken.
OMGitsKaleyxo 0
i would move if i were u.
theDIVA_NL 3
creeeperr