Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I found out that my shower area is in direct view from my neighbours' balcony. I realised this when I caught my neighbour and his wife watching me while I was getting dressed. I've been living here for 7 years. FML
Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML
Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML
Today, I learned my boyfriend has been going to our attractive female next door neighbor’s house without telling me while I'm at work. He claims it’s “because her house has AC and we don’t." FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML
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Top comments
SinatraStyle 3
Call the police and get a gun....you got a stalker...and call Chris Hansen too!!
no1askdu 5
hopefully hes not refering you as a bedroom and the carpet as your ....well you know.
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Comments (117)
SinatraStyle 3
Call the police and get a gun....you got a stalker...and call Chris Hansen too!!
amy397123 0
Not necessarily a stalker, but he can obviously see into your bedroom. Here is an idea! Close your blinds.
IambecomeRAWR 0
He isn't necessarily a stalker... He is her neighbour, after all. What's to say he wasn't walking past her house and glanced in through the window and saw the carpet? To be honest, that's probably more likely than the "ZOMGZORZ STALKORZ!!!!!!!!1111" explanation.
sexymessy 0
Either way its creepy. Hopefully he just saw it through the window but I'd keep my guard up!
HahaYDI 0
And THAT is one of the ways horror movies like start...
backagainbitch 0
ALERT ALERT: CREEPER ON THE LOOSE
DameGreyWulf 1
@11: Well... why was he so close to her house (I assume it's a house) that he could see the floor through the window? I know there are places where the houses are quite close together, but not THAT close. And why would he look through the window in the first place? As OP said, he's never been to her house, so it's not like he was "checking to see if she was home" or anything.
jjenniferr05 0
Unless his bedroom is downstairs, right at the front of the house, then it wouldn't really be possible to see the carpet in the bedroom..
wbrycem 0
Or ... he's been in the house BEFORE SHE LIVED THERE, assuming of course that he's lived there longer than she has, and knew the previous neighbours. Or, he can see in the window. Maybe he was giving you a hint to CLOSE THE DAMN BLINDS. I like how 9 times out of 10 everyone assumes the guy is a creepy stalker rapist killer guy. No, not everyone is a psycho. She also possibly left out the rest of the conversation (if there were one) where the neighbour commented on how he liked the carpet in her bedroom and wanted the same in his house ... it just seems way too convenient for him to just say, "I like the carpet in your bedroom," and nothing else.
DameGreyWulf 1
Hmm.. lol, but like I said, why was he so close he could see? Why was he looking? I suppose if the houses are really close, he might have caught a glimpse of her passing her window, naked, and that was the "carpet" he was referring to. And I doubt he'd say that if he has been in there before she moved there, since he doesn't necessarily know she used the same room for a bedroom, or that she didn't change the carpet.
leofan15 0
yeah i agree.
Swedishlachick 0
next thing you know your going to get a phone call only to get deep breathing on the other line hahah i would get a restraining order or at least a new curtain hah
sparklingshoes 0
stalker |:
tacojauns 45
sounds like he has been in your bedroom
Stupidpoorpeople 0
Who you gonna call? The cops i hope.
timtam24 0
GHOSTBUSTERS!!!!!!!!
ashleeee 0
lol i was gonna say ghostbusters ! hey OP at least you got a friend now!
mvper 0
Don't take it seriously. He is trying to be friendly.
Sarcastic_x 6
Of course. Why on earth would something like that be creepy?
r37s4090Xl7N 0
Okay, THAT is creepy
no1askdu 5
hopefully hes not refering you as a bedroom and the carpet as your ....well you know.
redbluegreen 41
I feel a million times better knowing I'm not the only one who thought of this.
xianwei 0
unless he just meant he liked the colour of the drapes. =D
defman_fml 0
Same here!! Maybe he likes the drapes and believes the carpet would match
sarinninja 0
get a gun and some blinds..
notcoolperson 0
I agree with him.
baller789 0
YDI
lm_wfc 0
How is having a nice carpet a FML? Kids in africa starving for nice carpets, and you're just ungrateful
unfortunate_13 5
I don't think you understood the message...
Slackness 10
I don't think you understood the humour.
CookieKing_fml 0
i dont think kinds in africa are starving for carpet, i think they want food. and its not funny to talk about it.
sublime93 0
Shut up and get a sense of humor. #13 made me laugh so ******* much
cosmiccharlie 0
I know when I see commercials of starving kids in Africa I just want to give them a nice persian rug.