Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I found out that my shower area is in direct view from my neighbours' balcony. I realised this when I caught my neighbour and his wife watching me while I was getting dressed. I've been living here for 7 years. FML
Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML
Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML
Today, I learned my boyfriend has been going to our attractive female next door neighbor’s house without telling me while I'm at work. He claims it’s “because her house has AC and we don’t." FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML
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Top comments
SinatraStyle 3
Call the police and get a gun....you got a stalker...and call Chris Hansen too!!
no1askdu 5
hopefully hes not refering you as a bedroom and the carpet as your ....well you know.
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Comments (117)
hateevryone 15
you might want to call the police, cause he's probably got cameras in your house. watching you
crazyweirdo1 0
that's wut u think
Hannahrayne 0
That's hilarious.
Angellic_09 0
Creepy...........take care ofyourself
friednoodles 0
who ya gunna call, ghost busters? no the cops
youtubetre_fml 14
So have you got a carpet in your bedroom ??
friedchkn97 4
she should lick her nuts
JessicaSki 12
I feel like that was the precursor to a slew of dirty jokes... moment missed.
fieldstar47 5
He's never been in your bedroom...that you know of!
alliem199521 10
Apparently he HAS been in ur room. Obviously.