Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I found out that my shower area is in direct view from my neighbours' balcony. I realised this when I caught my neighbour and his wife watching me while I was getting dressed. I've been living here for 7 years. FML
Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML
Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML
Today, I learned my boyfriend has been going to our attractive female next door neighbor’s house without telling me while I'm at work. He claims it’s “because her house has AC and we don’t." FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML
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Top comments
SinatraStyle 3
Call the police and get a gun....you got a stalker...and call Chris Hansen too!!
no1askdu 5
hopefully hes not refering you as a bedroom and the carpet as your ....well you know.
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Comments (117)
Fuckers 0
he's never been in your bedroom but he spends a lot of time in your loft. masturbating.
PurpleSfinx 0
Relax. He's your neighbour. Has he lived there longer than you? If so, the old occupant of your house probably invited him in. You live alone, so I'm guessing you only have 1 bedroom so he knows which one it is. If you are the first owner of the house, perhaps he looked at yours before he decided on his. It's in his area, after all. If you're this torn up about it... go ask him.
Fuckers 0
Relax. Blah blah blah wiffle wiffle *dead*
ihateharrypotter 0
Go **** off you piece of supercilious shit. How the hell do you know she hasn't had sex in a while? And how does having sex have anything to do with this post at all? God you ******* retards make me want to take a pen 'germed' up with E. coli, stab you a million times with it, watch you get an infection and die a horrible death. And according to you you're not desirable either because you'd be having sex rather than posting that idiotic message. In fact, according to your illogical logic, none of us are desirable and have ever had sex since we've all posted stuff while we couldve been getting laid. So I repeat, go **** off. And PS, your asshole-y attitude is the reason even a prostitute would refuse to ..erm.. have sex with you because even she ..erm..has higher standards Btw, OP, smack that little perv, and keep mace or pepper spray around and "accidentally" spray him.
CookieKing_fml 0
i moved to a new house, my neighbor said he liked my bedroom carpet, i changed it and left it on his porch, it was green shag. he threw it away. weird how he knew what it looked like omg he knew the people who lived there before me, CREEEPY!
plexico 4
Ask him if he'd like to munch it.
ohxberlin 0
or so you thoughtttt
genius_man16 1
I agree with #11. I mean it's a little weird, but he is your NEIGHBOR, and generally they live right next to you, and it's not all that out of the question for him to have seen inside your room if you don't close your blinds. So YDI for not closing them and getting bothered when someone looks in.
kapowi 0
Couldn't have said it better myself. YDI
Qup 0
he probably has a secret camera installed. or does that sound paranoid? oh well, he's definately a creeper !
callargh 0
Your neighbor is Edward Cullen?