Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my girlfriend talking to her friends, saying the most attractive guys are tall and dark-skinned. I'm about average height and pale. Uh-oh. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year and I were discussing how neither of us is the other's usual "type". I explained that I usually go for insular asshole types and then asked him what made me different from his usual choices. He said "Oh, well, I usually go for the attractive ones." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I have a doppelganger on campus who looks just like me, but way cuter. She got his phone number. FML
Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML
Today, at the Y, someone told me I had a cute ass. I liked that until I realized: a) a woman said it; b) I'm a woman; c) I'm straight; d) it's my first compliment in 2 years even though I'm 25; and e) I'm so in need of positive attention I ran after this woman to ask for a date. Me desperate much? FML
Today, my girlfriend of three months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML
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Top comments
silbern 0
when I think of an "all-American" guy I think of a fat slob that has gone to mcdonalds way too much. possibly a redneck
chveya 6
How dare you be unattractive, sir.
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Comments (92)
Anteezy 7
American guys are neither tall with a manly body or handsome faced.
allmidnighteyes 11
attractiveness is subjective, anyways
MrPresidentBoss1 0
Sounds like me lol tell her u normally don't date ***** but she's got some bomb ass cooter.
allmidnighteyes 11
I didn't know ass-cooters existed. Dude, I'm pretty sure you can't shit and give birth out of the same hole.
maggiewalters 17
actualy you can... if you're a bird. or a reptile. or a fish. or an amphibian.
allmidnighteyes 11
Then it would appear "MrPresidentBoss1" here is into some pretty kinkyyyyy shit.
MrMaD_fml 2
eh, a hole's a hole.
__no_one__ 0
Dude, it's nothing. It's pretty common for girls to have kind of an image of the "ideal" guy in their heads, but it's more like a "if I could bake my dream guy that's what he'd look like" thing. Most of the time the guy they love in real life doesn't look like that at all.
klar_fml 0
She could've been joking you know :D a lot of people have that sort of humour.
MrMaD_fml 2
Mercy, what a terrible confusing post. Anyways. Love is just another word for ''tolerance''. People come and go, as do memories, and no one is really unique. So, whatever non-shallow nonsense you're remembering about said person can more than likely be applied to the next mate you have.
MrMaD_fml 2
you may be on to something. However, You probably haven't taken into consideration that I'd rather be remembered for being myself than putting on some front just so a chick can like/remember the ''good'' in me, lol. Regardless, our memories end with us. We can't take em to heaven ;)
MrMaD_fml 2
Let's be honest, most dudes, tend to put up a front, and that's why shit goes sour in the end and the girl assumed that the dude ''changed''...and I suppose women can do it to, but it tends to be in different depts of the relationship. Anyways, If you're suggesting that what _I'm_ doing is an act, well, ''you may be on to something.'' ...just keep in mind, there's a lot of truth in jokes. I'd still much rather be narcissistic and truthful than ''nice'' and mildly ''deceptive''. Love is irrelevant, because the person who dumps their mate for ''changing'' probably ain't thinkin' about yo ass anymore anyways, lol. All I mean is, if you have to compromise your own personality so more people like ''you'', are _you_ really ''missing out''? Oh, and true legends aren't traditionally remembered for their love or relationships.
MrMaD_fml 2
er, refer back to ''Love is just another word for 'tolerance'.'' I'm not saying love hasn't produced meaningful..art? But the love shared between the people is probably nothing more... In the heat of the moment, positive things can manifest, but who's to say they don't resent the inspiration? In either case, most people will just remember a legend based on their work, and not necessarily the reasoning behind it.
null_fml 11
MrMad - those are words to live by, my good man.
MrMaD_fml 2
Plus it totally gets the chicks. Girls just LOVE assholes, lol, real-talk.
MrMaD_fml 2
lol, sweet dreams, doll. and when you wake up from that fantasy world you live in, you'll realize you'll be bored of those cats by the time you're 30 and will want a nigga just like me. ...no strings ;)
containsnosoy 0
This ideal guy is a dream. Even if she was dating this guy, she'd want something else. I wouldn't take it personally. I don't see the big deal either, you just started dating her, does she really matter to you so much that it's an FML situation? After all, she is dating you, not telling you to get lost.
Cowless 0
Sorry your girlfriend thinks you're cute?
DemonicAngel151 0
My boyfriend is British, and he's tall, manly, and has a handsome face. o.O
Hugorgy 0
You win at life.