Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
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Top comments
Kitten_love 22
I honestly saw this going a completely different and horrible direction.
HoboMeth 36
Don't do anal
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Comments (72)
diego92 13
Maybe she's just dirty
Leauge 13
Don't have sex with your new gf until he forgets.
Gradask 10
Yay for over protective dads. I just wish some people understood it is normal for females to grow up and stop being children, *sigh* If my father did that, I would be so angry with him that I wouldnt talk to him and I would move out fast.
victrin 12
Reminds me of an old "Dear Prudence" letter where a bi guy started dating a girl (who knew he was bi already). She introduced him to her parents and realized her dad was a guy he'd hooked up with before he started dating the girlfriend.
Fmelikeuhateme 24
Wow, I got confused here... I first read "hit me" and thought "dude, you hit your gf?" but nobody was voting 'YDI' so I read again and took a while for me to notice the "hit ON me" :p
vikky538 29
This gives a whole new meaning. "If you ever try to hurt my daughter i will shoot you with my gun" .. Now OP has two guns to be afraid of
Joshawott 21
What I want to know is, whether this FML was written with post-coital regret or shock over having to turn down the weirdest proposal of one's life.
Jesmassimo 21
This is brilliant I love it.
melodee07 3
oml
SecundusSecunda 27
I was expecting some surprise butseks at the end of the FML. I'm glad it wasn't that!