Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Kitten_love 22
I honestly saw this going a completely different and horrible direction.
HoboMeth 36
Don't do anal
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (72)
BDanzeisen 20
He wasn't lying
EastCoastLez 14
This brings a whole new meaning to that threat.
hasooon 24
Is he going to do her anything you do to him? Hmmm
MonstreBelle 29
I would hope he wouldn't take things too far and do her. Incest isn't an effective way of stopping your daughter from having sex
0to100rq 6
It must stay in the bloodline!
writerchic85 26
I think you misread the fml
SK8WITME 19
#scarred4lyf assuming that he became all touchy and shit. People do that when drunk
Reider022 16
At least you should get his blessing if you decide to get married.. unless he's jealous.
TAntobella 14
Pleeeeeease OP follow up! What happened the following time you met??!!
DeathofCareBear 21
Threesome?
HunterMark 14
Well if you hit her drunk, on a dinner, YDI
fmyblob 7
when did he say he hit her? He said the father hit ON him. Completely different from hitting.
slyde32 12
damn it, i accidentally hit thumbs up on #22's comment
irishmaiden78 23
Oh, my lord. I so read that wrong. Someone must think you're pretty amazing then.
jake131000 21
I didn't notice the "on" at first
glamour_083 13
Same here, I was going to say YDI for hitting a woman, but then re-read it and thought WTF this is almost worse
fumanshu 9
Me too!!! I had to reread it after I saw your comment!