Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
Today, my crush invited me to her house and I ended up meeting her dad. Then she suddenly had to dash off because her boyfriend, whom I had no idea existed, unexpectedly had free time so they were going on a last minute date, which left me awkwardly sat there in the kitchen with her dad. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
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Top comments
heartbrakej 0
dad: "great way to meet daughters new friend"
coltsrock37 15
She was initiating you for their tribal nudist ways
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Comments (98)
Deathhound 27
Oh, nice meeting. Why did she leave you there?
carinthian 6
One hell of an icebreaker though.
aPieceOfFruit 16
Is that what you do with yours?
YacL 15
Yes, why do you ask?
SxE_Danielle_TD 5
Should have shook his hand and introduced yourself.
SadinSherman 16
Wouldn't that be akward
StopDropNRoll 11
< *takes out sarcasm sign so ^ can get a hint* It's not that hard to get come on!
bfsd42 20
^ Shut up 60. No need to be a dick.
dasin 18
ya ive seen a couple of pornos like that
SpicyMaduros 4
And he didn't offer you a glass of water?!? perhaps a midnight snack? What happened to hospitality? Perhaps commenting on the angle of his dangle would have broken the ice.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
You caught him right in the middle of de-stanking his nether regions in his own house. F his life, not yours.
Redhead99 16
Well was it big? I'm sure he was shocked to.
MareNostrum 0
...and all you could say was "That's a clean circumcision."
javierb88 3
Did you suck his beefnuggets?
thebano 4
I've walked in on my friends parents having sex on their table. I know how you feel.
ambowew 7
He mistook you for his next customer. I'm just kidding, your new friend obviously brought you home to be the sacrifice of the night.