Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML
Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML
Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML
Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I walked into the house I share with my boyfriend and found his mum sashaying up and down the hall. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "Oh, you've got to tell me where you get your underwear from!" Yep, she was wearing my panties. Neither she nor her son could see why I would be upset by that. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
So basically you have a pet gorilla roaming around your house.
iLazy 0
Accidentally wax his back.
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Comments (98)
MurphyS94 4
Geez OP, what more do you expect of him? He's already got a rockin' tan. He obviously has to show that off.
cynthiaF 0
At least he has a nice tan, hopefully...
Bekeliyr 10
exactly what i was thinking! except I'm going to have to disagree with you on the part where you said "jk".
northern_lights 0
Oh, teenagers. Go and whine to your blog about how much your life sucks. Why are you even crying about this? Don't you have a bedroom to go mope in? Some people are secure enough to walk around shirtless. If the site of a hairy guy with a gut offends your delicate mind, then never leave your ******* house. People like this are *everywhere!*
The_Great_Zucchi 15
You mean he's an Aussie? What else did you expect?
ArmbarGirl 0
you know you like it .. that's why u are writing bout it ...
FUkmyLife109 4
WAX HIM IN HIS SLEEP!! yull never have to deal with the alcaholic gorilla ever agaiN!!
mink_lady 0
Jewish aunt:))
gators1995 30
That is very disgusting and even though he lives with her I am assumimg. Then you should tell your mom to confront him.
The_9th_Doctor 18
I'm so so sorry